tl; dr; i am addicted to scratch and can't get over the past. ever since i joined the sosc around september-ish i've been entranced within the community. it was somewhat fun at first and i was just a normal soscer. after the deletion though, is when i started my fall from grace. i craved any attention i could get, even going as far as comparing the deletion to 9/11. i spammed random quotes that only made sense in certain contexts all for attention. then came march 15, which was the turning point. i went crazy, furious i lost 5 months of work. i made comments that should and would have gotten me banned from the ROSS nowadays. i was in a panic, and when i tried to apologize to y'all, i was ridiculed with one comment saying something along the lines of "jake paul vibes." i think i've redeemed myself but i cant get over my past. i keep on beating myself down; quite deserved too, if you've seen some of the comments i've made. im trying to contribute positively with BFAC, but i dont think its helping much. i've apologized, and i try to help keep the community safe and positive. its just that i dont feel like im doing good enough.
