(I don't live in India, but I am an Indian studying in an Indian school.) I am sorry @MrSamiam08 and @LuckySwiftail , I thought I would be able to get some time in the holidays to draw you both, but, with the way things are going right now, it seems that I will be unable to. I already am burned out, having to take an hour of lying down on the sofa or chair before starting my work. No matter how much I do, its never enough for my parents. So, by this logic, I won't be able to fulfill your requests. I overestimated the time I would get to draw you guys, and it is my fault. I would vent fully about my life at home, but, I wanna keep some things private (it is respectful for other people), and besides, there are some people on Scratch who I know in real life, so I am worried, that if I fully vent about my stress, they might tell my parents about it, and I will have to delete my account and all my hard work. It seems like the adults in my country (India) feel like they are kings and queens, doing whatever they want, letting the students break their backs while not caring about their mental health. It seems like I am very sensitive to emotions, as it is easy for me to have outbursts in my mind. If it was in America or Europe, then people would actually care and help their students while making them feel like actual people. Whereas, in Indian schools, they think that shouting at students and beating them and repeatedly telling them that they are failures will apparently make them better people. Never once have I seen a student genuinely happy with our school system. At least in America and Europe, mental health of students is encouraged. In my school, I got bullied a lot, and the teachers did nothing about it. But, when I tried to stand up for myself, suddenly I am a villain, and the teachers start to put me in trouble. My 5th grade teacher didn't even support me at all (I was still sensitive emotionally back then), and instead, she just ignored me and tried to shame me in front of the class. Keep in mind that this wasn't in 12th grade, nor in 10th grade, not even in 7th grade. This is 5TH GRADE I am talking about. It seems that no matter is a student wants to 3nd th3mselves, they won't care. I don't even have the courage to seek help from a counselor, because it seems like everyone is doing fine on the outside, and of course, I might face backlash from my parents and most of my teachers. (Not all Indian teachers are bad, there are some rare few teachers that are actually good and value their students more than other teachers). I know I am a mistake in my life, and I don't wanna hear it again. I don't want gifts now, I know it is nice, and it will make me happy, but I tried to talk to myself about how people love me, but my mind is in a mess after lack of sleep due to the constant homework. I sometimes feel that venting is pointless since people might think that this is a tiny amount of work that I am doing, but its a lot. The paranoia in my head is too much to handle. I wish to move to the US or Canada or to one of the Western European Countries, because so many hopes and dreams wouldn't be wasted and I would be happier. Even though people can create fake identities on the internet, I still treat you all as my friends, as it is basically an escape from the horrendous reality of my school. I love you all, and I hope, by God's grace, that my jealousy and my bad mood do not take over me, and I hope that I will be stable and not do something crazy which may destroy my reputation, whether in real life or online. Don't worry, I wont 3nd / finish myself, because that's a sin in the Bible and in my religion. Thanks for reading. - Jiri
