Oak and Violet, to Hyde: Look at you! All cute and small! I could just eat you up! Hyde: *proceeds to kick them in the shin and run away* Jekyll, walking past: Rule number 1, don't call Hyde cute or small. Hyde: I think I should be allowed on ghost hunter tv shows. Jekyll: I think that would be dangerous for the ghosts. Oak: How would you like your coffee? Violet: As dark as my soul. Oak: Got it, one cup of milk coming right up! Oak, after talking to Marion: I don’t need to touch grass, I need the fall of capitalism. Jekyll, holding an antique bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume? Hyde: *grabs and chugs the entire bottle* Jekyll: Hyde: It's perfume. Lake: Why does Jekyll always do the laundry so loudly? Violet: So everyone knows that no one helps him out in the house. Jekyll, in the distance: *slams the washing machine shut* Violet: I want to be like a caterpillar. Jekyll: Explain. Violet: Eat a lot, sleep for a while, wake up beautiful. Oak: You know they have a lifespan of a week, right? Violet: Violet: That's just another highlight! Marion: You know, when Violet comes over, Jekyll can get a little… Lake: Psycho? Oak: Scary? Hyde: Drunk? Marion: All three. Jekyll: Oak, where’s your report card? Oak: My friends stole it from me at school, so now I don’t have it anymore. Jekyll: Do you think I’m stupid enough to believe that lie? Oak: What lie? Jekyll: That you have friends. Marion: Do you ever get pre-annoyed? Like you already know someone is going to annoy you? Oak: What? No, I— Violet: *enters room* Marion: *jaw clenches* Oak: What’s up with you? Marion: What do you mean? Oak: You’ve been nice and helpful and considerate all day. What’s your game? Hyde: It’s not that I don’t trust Marion, I just... don’t trust their impulse control. Lake: Good morning! Marion: Bold statement. Violet: *holding a salt packet* It’s just a little sodium chloride. Jekyll: Actually Violet, it’s salt. Violet: That’s what I said, sodium chloride. Jekyll: Uh Violet, that would be salt. Hyde: *takes salt packer from Violet* This is iodized table salt, which in addition to sodium chloride contains anti-caking agents and potassium iodate, which is added to prevent iodine deficiency. So not only are you being overly pretentious by insisting on using scientific terminology for everyday items, you are factually wrong. Your arrogance is your downfall, you annoying little- *Violet and Jekyll texting* Violet: Come downstairs and talk to me please. I'm lonely. Jekyll: Isn't Hyde there? Violet: Yes but I like you more. Lake: I warned you. Lake: I'm perfect. Jekyll: I have a problem. Hyde: K!ll it. Jekyll: Can you chill for like, two seconds? Oak: *out cold on the ground* Jekyll: Oh my god, do you think they’re okay?! Hyde, holding a bucket of ice water: Who cares?! *dumps all of the water on Oak’s face* Hyde: Why should I make my bed, when I'm just gonna unmake it to sleep in it anyways? Violet: Why should I feed you if your just gonna die anyways? Hyde: Hyde: I'll go make my bed- Marion: Good morning. As you begin your day, remember that violence is always an option and often the answer. Oak: Violet: Oak: ...Please, go back to bed. Violet: I feel so burnt out. Marion: Don’t worry, it'll be over soon. Violet: Are you gonna... a--a--inate me? Marion: Well not if you’re expecting it. Violet: *standing at the top of the stairs* What are y'all doing at the bottom of the staircase? Oak: I accidentally fell down. Lake: MARION PUSHED ME down the stairs because I refuse to pay THEIR part of our rent! Hyde: Violet bet me fifty bucks that I couldn't reach the bottom of the stairs faster than they did falling down it, so I slide down the banister to get my money. Jekyll: I don't know how I got here. One moment, I was sleeping in my bed, three floors up, and then suddenly I was waking up here, just in time to get crushed by Lake. Lake: *running into the room* Hyde just said they don’t love me anymore! Violet: What?! Hyde: *following them in* I did not say that. I just said that we are not driving all the way across the country just so you can punch Marion in the face. Oak: I'm cold. Marion: Here, take my hoodie. *meanwhile* Jekyll: I'm cold. Violet: I can't control the weather, Jekyll. Hyde: I’ve been here in jail so long I think I’ve lost my mind. Hyde: The days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months. Hyde: How long have I been in here now? Almost a year? Violet: This is Monopoly. Lake: You’re so funny! Marion: Thanks; I’m desperate for people to like me. Lake: So, are they your friend or... Oak: They’re like Jekyll, but if Jekyll was ordered to be around you. Lake: Oh, so Violet. Oak: Precisely! Marion: And I’d love to be sorry for that, but we all know I’ve done much, much worse. Rachel: Guys, Hyde is missing. Violet: Good. Danny: I regret getting dragged into your heteros--ual tomfoolery.
