(heavy?) vent below, my obsession with checking the scale keeps getting worse, watching numbers go down is like a stress reliever, I know I've gotten taller, but in the past year I've gained 10 pounds and I get really upset about it, if the numbers don't go down I try and check what's a healthy weight for my age and height (I'm 5'1-ish) and directly aim to be way below that, I'm like 95 pounds. I can't take the scale away because I get upset, I'm young and I've already tried dieting, when it didn't work I just eat regular meals but divide what I used to eat into quarters. My friends make it worse, one of them told me the other day “You know, I used to think you were deathly skinny, but now I realize you're barely average.” I spent over an hour trying to regulate myself in the bathroom, and someone had to come get me. I know i'm not overweight, but I don't feel good enough so I just pressure myself to be smaller. My mother doesn't help either, she constantly picks on my weight, whether it's her forcing me to eat more than what's normal (for anyone) to telling me I'm thicker, I don't want curves. I personally don't have any, my body is like a rectangle. Another one of my friends told me “You're slower than you used to be, I bet if you were skinnier you'd be faster.” and I just agreed as she blabbed on about it. Anyways I needed to put this somewhere because I feel bad, and I need to leave for soccer now, bye
