!["grasping for a sense of safety" otter SRP [ ffrp ]](https://cdn2.scratch.mit.edu/get_image/project/933401328_480x360.png)
[ a first person roleplay in which otter'splash finally realizes how life will be. intense depression warning. he's gonna think over how he *really* feels about life, and, honestly, is just thinking about how he hates life right now. ] [ tw : intensely depressed thoughts, intense anger, and could be triggering to some :) ] v v v v v [] I hate this all. I hate everything I see. I hate the sky, I hate the grass, I hate cats, I hate fish. I hate swimming, I hate looking around and seeing the world still. Everything is just going *so* wrong, and I can't seem to be able to fix it. Sure, I have a plan. Sure, I want Talon'star to just... disappear from existence. Sure, I hate life. I hate *myself*. Tears spiked at my eyes as I rested in the medicine den. Sure, 'Cobalt', who I'm pretty sure is Spit'fire, has returned. Sure, I just want things to just .. disappear. Sure, life has felt like something that even I can't handle. And I've been through a lot. A sharp gasp for breath, as I looked around. The world had gone black. I couldn't see. I can't see. I can't hear. I can't live like this. I can't live like this. I can't live, knowing that *I* can't do anything about this. That my power is close to none. Sure, Magpie will help me. Cinder'paw - or whatever she goes by now - will help me. I would help me. Flock'paw might even help me. Maybe... Even Merge'clan - or Cervus'clan, as they go by now, might help me. Can't see. Can't see. Blurred vision. Hard thoughts. I can hear it in my head, the ringing. The intense sounds. The wishes. The realities. I can hear it all, pounding in my ears like a kit's tail to the dirt. I gasped for breath. "Can't..." I muttered under my breath, the tears letting themselves work their way down my fur, often dissolving into the thick, mottled mess. "Can't breathe. Can't see. Can't..." Burrying my head in my paws, I cried. I cried, I cried. The war was far from over. The war was just beginning. The war.. I didn't wanna think about the war anymore. I didn't wanna think at all? [ end ]
[ listen to Ghost Town by Kayne West while reading this, it'll set the mood ] [ basically otter hates himself and life and is now wishing and wanting for something good to happen to him. his life has been rough, and he has nothing left. ]
