I’m a cat. Meow. I will now proceed to go to sleep. And do nothing all day. Just kidding. That’s just what you think, right? Well, I’m going to prove you wrong. We’re better than dogs. It’s not a debate, it’s just a fact. “Cats rule, dogs drool,” is our mantra. Because we are the superior being. You know dogs? They’re basically your servant. You can tell them to do anything you want to, and they’ll comply (except the really scary ones - but we pretend that they don’t exist). All they want to do is play with you and have fun. I mean, those are pretty good qualities. But still, they’re submissive. Why? It’s one of their greatest mysteries. Us cats are so much better. We ARE the masters that the humans and dogs bow down to. They both think that they’re SO much better but it’s just their way to not feel jealous of us. We live for free. There is nothing for us to do everyday except for sleep and plan our next genius move against the dogs. In a way, we are the true criminal masterminds of the animal kingdom. Humans will do all our bidding. Dogs are just dumb. We have shelter, food, and people that are willing to constantly try to get our attention. Want to know a secret? Okay, I’ll tell you, just because I like you. But if you spill one word of this conversation, I will personally come over to your house and scratch your furniture. Here it is: Dogs have been our friends furever. I mean, we do pretend that we hate them, but secretly, it’s impossible to. I mean, not even the coldest hearts can resist a fluffy dog panting and running in circles around you. Apathy is our empathy, we like to say. So, while cats are objectively better, I wouldn’t blame you if you like dogs as well. I’m out of here. Meow.
this is clev's daily for mystery! 325 words for 500 points :D scratch cat is a dignified gentlecat.
