As some of you may know, me and my cousin MonkMan resetted our games of Pokemon X and Y. We did this to start a nuzlocke, as I have always wanted to do one. We made a studio, and asked for Fanart. But, as some may have thought, we soon called it off. At first I felt sorry for bugging people to make Fanart of something that no longer exists, but I eventually got over it. Yesterday, the day MonkMan went back to his house, I caught Xerneas. In my bed, I realized that I could have gotten this far with my old team, as I re-set right after catching Lucario. I felt sad and nearly cried. I've always been attached to my virtual little buddies, and oftentimes restrain myself from wonder trading my very low leveled Pokemon in my PC, in Omega Ruby. I felt very sad. And super sorry for something that doesn't exist. I don't know why. I even apologized to them in my head. The names slowly coming back too me. I thought that X and Y were terrible games, but I was wrong. After playing with my cousin for 3 days together, constantly battling, constantly competing, constantly not remembering, I had fun. The fun started in the Nuzlocke, but when we called it off, I felt I would feel none. I has wrong. I had blasts of fun. So much fun I would have dreams of my team and I doing things like battling trainers and Gym Leaders. I dreamt about things that don't even exist. I had so much fun, I would wake up before my cousin, 3 hours to be exact, every day just to surpass him. Despite us agreeing that we would go at the same pace. Well, that was what I thought for a while. But last night, trying to sleep, I felt like I was running away from them. My team. I didn't want to remember. I didn't want to. Remembering hurt. I wanted to play, not just to have fun, but to run away to places unknown to avoid confronting them whenever possible. I tried avoiding conversation with my cousin about his early game, where he got to the Elite Four, and were I left off. I thought they were bad games. They weren't. I just fell out of Pokemon when I played them. I would tell my friends and family how much Kalos was stupid and how they wasted so much effort on the story and characters. But I was of course wrong. I loved my Pokemon team deep inside. That's why I would constantly go back on during November. When I said that stuff, I felt I didn't mean it. And I didn't. I truly loved Kalos. I just found a few things weird now and then. Like Mr. Bonding and Tierno. But I didn't mean it. Not even close to meaning it. I loved these games. But most importantly, my Pokemon. I loved them and I let them go away. Fade to nothing. I was sad. Very sad. Regretting. Very much regretting my choice of action. I wanted to hurt myself. I would do anything to get my team back. I thought how Pokemon not having multiple saves was just stupid. Absolutely stupid. I 'killed' my team just to do something that doesn't matter anymore. I felt angry. Angry at myself. But I also loved my new team. The team that I just started raising a few days ago. My new team. The ones I have come so far with. I wanted to catch an Eevee, train it in amie and catch a Fletchling and raise it. Get an Absol, and train it. I wanted to pick Froakie, but my cousin got there first. I wanted to pick Charmander, but he also got there first. I wanted to pick Tyrunt, but he called it as well. I felt tortured, and ran. Ran from my past. I wanted to re-build my team. To make a new one. When he told me he wanted Froakie, and called it, I felt sad. He said he wanted Charmander. That lowered my hopes more. I just let him do what he wanted. whatever. But I was still sad and skipped ahead as the closer I felt to the start of the game, the closer I felt to my old team. I ran. But know I am here, paying my respects to some imaginary things like an idiot. I truly feel sorry for ditching them. I loved them. I just can't say it enough. Sorry for wasting your time. I just felt like I needed to do this.
I am REALLY sorry that my newest project in forever was something some may call stupid and some may call sad. I'm really sorry about that =(
