. numb little bug . . it/it’s . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Silence. Serenity. Peace. This is my world, and all I’ve ever known. All calm, like a still lake. It’s dark here. A quiet humming noise echoes in the background. It’s soothing to me, like a mother’s heartbeat to an infant. How I know what that is, I’m not sure. Then, a whisper of noise. If my world is a still lake, the sound is like a ripple on the glassy surface. I feel it in my bones. Not jarring, simply something I am aware of as being physical. I hadn’t known sound did this. I reach my awareness out to where the sound came from. I feel… something. It is tall, with appendages sticking out from it at strange angles. It has another appendage at the top that is round, with something silky growing from it. I soon realise it is approaching the space that I know my physical form occupies. Once it reaches my form, I feel my consciousness pouring back into my body, as if it is a container and my consciousness a liquid. I feel a warm touch on my side, and my eyes blink open. The light is intense. Blindingly white, I shut my eyes again. It is a harsh contrast to the darkness I’ve known up until now. The thing on my side presses harder, almost pinching me. Opening my eyes once more, I let out a small whimper. As my eyes adjust, I see a hazy pinkish figure, with a round blobby paw laying on my side. I try to squirm away, but it holds on tight. This time, my whimper is from pain, not just discomfort. The feeling eases. I breathe a sigh of relief. The pinkish thing barks something at other pinkish things that I only know notice. My vision has sharpened now, and I see red, green and blue string-like things attaching to somewhere just above my vision line. Raising a paw to touch one, I feel something tugging under my flesh on the top of my head. That must be where they’re connecting to. Struggling to stand up, alarmed yelps come from the pinkish things around my… what exactly am I standing in? I see faint glimmers above my head, as if something transparent is encasing me in a bubble. Perhaps my cage is the best description for it. All of a sudden, I understand something that the pinkish creatures are saying. “Shut it off!” One of them is shouting. A loud electrical hum starts up and lasts for a moment or two as one of them flips a large lever, and my consciousness pours out of my physical form once again. Back to silence. Back to serenity. Back to peace. Back to the still lake of my world. Now, I hear the pink things talking to one another. “Experiment 473 is developing rapidly. It seems to respond to discomfort as well as pain. It also managed to stand up, at which point we powered it off. We will have to transfer it to a more secure testing area to avoid its escape.” The creature seems to be speaking at the same time as typing. I hear keyboard clacking in the background. I take a moment to reflect on this. It gives me a sense of déjà vu, like I’ve heard this pink thing say something similar before. A faint memory seems to call to me, like scraps of a rapidly fading dream that you just can’t quite piece together before all of it is gone. “Are you sure it’s not dangerous?” One of the pink creatures says in a hushed whisper. It takes me a moment before I realise they’re referring to me. A little hurt, I protest. “I’m not dangerous.” I say this aloud. My voice is a crisp, cool drone, with not much emotion. It reminds me of a cool mountain stream. I can feel all the pink things attention move to my physical form, all of them alarmed, if not panicked. The creature that was monologuing earlier lets out a curious “Hmmm…” and then continues. “Expirement 473 has spoken in response to one of the personnel. The personnel had been worrying aloud that Experiment 473 is dangerous, and of its own volition, Experiment 473 responded, saying ‘I’m not dangerous.’ Its power was cut off at this time. I feel confident that Experiment 473 has reached a point where it no longer needs to be connected to the power source.” Now that I’ve begun communicating, I’m not about to stop now. “Where am I?” I ask. “You are in a protected laboratory.” Responds Monologue. I’ve decided to call them that for now. “Well then, what am I?” I ask. “You are an experiment.” Monologue says. It feels more like we are arguing rather than I am asking questions. They are not providing very good answers. I do not like this creature. “…-” I was about to continue when I felt a sharp pain in my hindquarters. I yelp, and then go numb, and my consciousness truly drifts away, where I can no longer access it. I sleep, for the first time.
. . . My eyes open. I look around. A reflective, shiny piece of glass catches my eye. As I try to stand, I feel stiffness in my muscles, like they have not been used for a very long time. This is strange, as I’ve only just woken up for the first time. Yet, I remember thinking this before. A vague feeling, a tug in my stomach, as if it were only a dream… I remember thinking of a dream before as well. This is very strange. But I am not awake enough yet to process this. Shifting my attention back to the shiny, reflective piece of glass, I walk up to it. I gasp. I see myself for the first time. I’m mostly dark grey, with lighter patches. What startles me the most is that though I am furry and definitely not an insect, I have six limbs rather than the usual four. I also have two antennae that glow yellow, and two rings around my tail as well as one around my left front paw. Another thing that I didn’t expect was that I have a third eye. I stare at myself for a long moment, letting my brain form a good mental copy of my body, so that I can now picture myself when I want to. Though I am unusual, I can’t think of anything I would change about myself. Happy, I turn away. Then, I hear Monologue speak again. “Experiment 473 recognizes itself in a mirror. We will begin pain tolerance tests soon.” My eyes widen. Pain tolerance tests? I could handle everything we’ve done before, but… wait. What exactly have we done before? Have I been forgetting all of the times I’ve been awake before? If so, how old even am I? A sudden flare of decisiveness and courage hits me. I will not stay captive any longer, however long I’ve been here. A plan unfolds in my mind. I will wait for them to make me go to sleep, and when they do, I will hold on to my consciousness as hard as I can, so that it does not slip away this time. Then, I can search for ways to escape. I suppose the reason I could feel the pinkish thing was because I have antennae, so I imagine it will work the same way with my cage. Now, I must wait. . . . My ear pricks. I hear someone. Opening my eyes, I face towards the sound. I’ve been practicing slipping in and out of consciousness, so it shouldn’t be hard to hold on to it when it is forced away from me. A pink creature walks in. They open a little glass hatch in the top of the cage, one that seems to have a latch on the outside. That will be my means of escape. Once while I was practicing, I felt my paws touch the ground after thinking very hard about it. It became apparent that I can interact physically with objects, as long as I focus incredibly hard. I feel the needle stick into my side once again. As my consciousness slips away, I focus very hard on a mental image of myself sticking my claws into a misty figure that resembles me. I feel something sharp on my hindquarters, exactly where I am imagining myself clawing my consciousness. Ignoring the pain, I make the mental image of myself drag my consciousness back to me, shoving it into my body. My eyes open. Okay. I’ll just have to let my consciousness slip away again. As I do, I enter once again into my world of darkness and peace. Paying more attention to the feelings of what are around me, I sense the hatch. Making my way up towards it, I float straight through. Going back, I put a paw to where the latch is. It goes straight through. Once again, I try to focus hard on the latch. When I put my paw to it again, it connects with something solid. Quickly, I flip the latch, and an alarm starts to blare. Panicking, I make my way back to my body as fast as I can. Opening my eyes and gasping, I leap for the hatch. I just barely grasp it with my forepaws, and I scramble up. I don’t make it. Then, I remember that I have an extra set of paws in the middle. Using them, I manage to get out of the hatch, and then on the top of my cage. I take a moment to absorb the scenery. There’s not much that interests me at first, mostly science equipment that looks like it could sell for millions of dollars. Then, one specific screen catches my eye. On the screen, there’s a folder pulled up. The name of the folder is ‘Expirement 473 memory drive’. Excited, I rush to the screen. I open one of the files, and to my disappointment, a bunch of what looks like code pops up. Looking around, I try to see if the screen is connected to anything. I see a cord coming from it and feeding into a contraption that looks like I need to plug my head full of wires again. Where the again comes from, I’m not sure, but I believe I’ve had wires in my head before. Rushing over, I reach with a paw and plug the first one in. I hiss with pain. It’s not so bad, I can manage it, but it still hurts like hell. Plugging in another, I decide to do them all as fast as I can. As the last one plugs in, I hear an electrical hum. My eyes are suddenly filled with pictures. SHOOT out of room :/
