/!\ TRIGGER WARNINGS: 95% CAPS, LOTS OF NEGATIVITY, OVERALL JUST TERRIBLE STUFF. If you're having a bad day, maybe it would be best to NOT read this... really sorry lol /!\ I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE MY MENTAL HEALTH IS DECLINING RAPIDLY. MY PARENTS DON'T KNOW. NOBODY KNOWS. I ACT COMPLETELY FINE WHEN I'M AROUND MY FAMILY, BUT AS SOON AS I'M ISOLATED BY MYSELF I BECOME PRETTY MUCH INSANE. I CAN'T UNDERSTAND MY OWN THOUGHTS. THEY'RE JUST A TANGLED MESS. NOTHING MAKES SENSE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I FEEL LIKE I'M NOT IN CONTROL OF MY OWN BODY ANYMORE. I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE. I'M QUESTIONING EVERYTHING, ALL OF REALITY. ALL OF EXISTANCE. EVERYTHING THAT USED TO MAKE SENSE IS JUST A BLUR NOW. I- I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUDGE IS GOING ON!?!? I KNOW I NEED HELP, BUT I CAN'T //GET// HELP. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I WANNA JUST LOCK MYSELF IN A SOUNDPROOF ROOM AND LAY THERE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. I DON'T WANNA TALK TO PEOPLE, BUT I DO WANNA TALK AT THE SAME TIME. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO COMMUNICATE MY THOUGHTS PROPERLY, EVERY TIME I TRY TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING PERSONAL IT ENDS UP SOUNDING WRONG. EVEN WITH WHAT I'M TYPING RIGHT NOW, I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS GOING TO MAKE SENSE WHEN PEOPLE READ IT. I DON'T KNOW?!!?! I'M SORRY. I NEED HELP. I DO. I FEEL LIKE THERE'S 6 DIFFERENT PEOPLE INSIDE OF ME. AND I DON'T KNOW WHICH IS THE REAL ME. WITH HOW I'M GOING, I'M GONNA BECOME JUST A MONSTER. I CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF, I CAN'T UNDERSTAND MYSELF. I CAN'T DO ANYTHING. MY MIND IS NUMB, IDEAS JUST REFUSE TO COME. MOTIVATION NEVER STAYS. MY FAMILY KEEPS FIGHTING, WHICH IS WHY I STAY AWAY FROM THEM. BUT THEN I GET IN TROUBLE FOR NEVER SPENDING TIME WITH THEM. WHEN I TELL THEM THAT, THEY SAY THAT IT'S JUST A DUMB EXCUSE AND THAT "THE REAL REASON WHY I DON'T SPEND TIME WITH THEM IS BECAUSE I'M ADDICTED TO THE COMPUTER"... WHICH ISN'T TRUE AT ALL. IT HURTS TO THINK. BUT IF I DON'T THINK, MEMORIES I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER COME IN. I CAN'T. I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE. I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THESE WORDS WILL MAKE SENSE TO YOU GUYS. TO EVERYBODY ELSE THIS IS PROBABLY JUST GONNA SOUND LIKE USELESS BLABBERING FROM SOMEBODY WHO IS OVERREACTING ABOUT THINGS. I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY FOR BEING A BURDEN, BUT I HAD TO TYPE THIS ALL OUT. typing makes me feel a bit better... It distracts me from the intrusive thoughts. from the wishes to leave and live on my own. (that made me sound depressed, didn't it?) I WANT TO LEAVE, BUT I CAN'T LEAVE. I RELY ON THIS PLACE. I FOCUS ON SCRATCH AND ROBLOX TO SLOW THIS... WHATEVER YOU WANNA CALL IT. IT'S THE ONLY THING I HAVE LEFT TO HOLD ON TO THAT ISN'T GONNA MAKE ME THINK BAD THINGS. I- I SHOULD JUST SHUT UP BEFORE I BLURT OUT SOMETHING I'LL REGRET SAYING. PLEASE DON'T START FEELING BAD FOR ME. I DON'T WANT TO BE A BURDEN. I DON'T WANNA CAUSE TROUBLE. I DON'T WANT TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL BAD-
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