I'm fine now guys, you all cheered me up >:0 Yeah, guys, it’s that time again. The time when I make people who love me worried. If you are someone I know, please just move on, I’ll be over it in a day or two. You shouldn’t have to be constantly worried about my teenage hormones. Literally just ignore this if you’re someone I love, I’m fine. I’ll be over it by tomorrow, I’ve just got a lot of pent up emotion, and this made me feel slightly better. I’m such a failure. I’ve had literally one goal since I was ten, to never do a specific thing again. And what did I do today? Break it. Hahaha… I had a heart to heart this evening, with my mom. She told me that I had broken my goal, basically. She didn’t know how hard it hit me. She doesn’t even really know I HAVE that goal. She was just trying to make me understand what I did. And boy did she. I wanted to tell her to get out of my room, everyone I love, just get out of my life. So I can just sit there and cry and go numb. I’ll get my wish soon. I am going numb. I can’t care about anything anymore. Tennis is just sucking the life out of me. So is school. I’m shoving friends away. I jump to conclusions, always assuming people could do things I know I they would never, COULD never do. How can I explain it’s not their fault? That it’s my problems? It’s not your fault, if I’ve done that to you. It’s mine. Just because I’ve been betrayed by friends and family, or a mixture of both, since I was like eight, doesn’t mean that everyone is like that. I should be telling my family this. I shouldn’t be writing this on social media, for anyone to see. But how can I? That’s getting too vulnerable. On here, it doesn’t have any real consequences, for me at least. And that’s the most selfish part.
Music choice was just slightly random, but also kind of relates to the situation a lot. Somehow, I had the wrong music...... My guilt follows me like Gretta’s skull. My mom says I need to forgive myself. I deserved to be followed, to be reminded.
