I don't know what I'm doing anymore. So many amazing people on this site are leaving. It's terrible... I don't have motivation to make memes anymore. All of the ones I'm working on look pretty much the same. Same bop, same effects... I want to do the memes, but I have no inspiration... No ideas. Nothing. I'm loosing interest in all of my hobbies. I can't bring myself to sit down and draw. I can't focus long enough to be in a role-play on Roblox. I can't even immerse myself in a book anymore. It all feels... Wrong. I'm loosing my grasp on who I am. I can't even process most of my emotions. Even I don't know the reasoning behind half the stuff I do. I feel like I don't have control over my own body most of the time. No control over my movements, my thoughts. I feel like I'm not the player anymore, just the spectator. I can't sleep anymore without being drowned by regrets and memories I don't want to remember. I don't know what the hell my parents want from me. My memory is failing. I'm falling really behind in schoolwork because I can't focus on the lessons. I'm suffocating under all of the stuff I'm keeping buried inside, but I don't have any adults I trust to communicate with, and no friends close enough to trust, either. Nobody understands. When I try to communicate my problems, everybody takes it the wrong way. Nobody understands me, and I only partially understand myself. What's going on? Am I just depressed? What's happening to me?! I'm probably gonna regret saying all of this later. I don't want to be a burden. I... I HATE LIFE. I DON'T WANNA KEEP LIVING LIFE, BUT AT THE SAME TIME I DON'T WANNA END IT. I DON'T FEEL LIKE I'M MYSELF ANYMORE. I CAN BARELY UNDERSTAND MY OWN THOUGHTS. WHAT'S GOING ON?! WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!
Me for having stupid issues.
