hey everyone! i am so, so sorry for not posting since christmas and basically being gone forever - i couldn't quite get the motivation to post an update and eventually got distracted by other things in life...hope that's understandable! i'm gonna dive into what's been going on, tbh it's been a little bit of a rollercoaster so i hope i can explain the best i can~ - - - so here's what's been going on! last school year pretty much swamped me in the spring semester, and i'm not the best at staying productive all the time - sometimes i tend to procrastinate and wait till the last minute to turn stuff in lol. i don't give myself enough credit for it but i'm doing fantastic in school! ofc that inevitably comes with a price tho, especially considering i'm /delectably/ a perfectionist (i.e. will keep working on one assignment until it's perfect in my eyes). also - i promise srsly not tryna self-diagnose at all here fjdkl - i feel like i'm genuinely having a sort of heightened anxiety this year; like it was real bad 2 years back but now i think i'm starting to put my work before myself and now all that built-up stress & tension is contributing to me being generally anxious + put in a negative mood. honestly i think i'm making things seem bigger than they really are by overthinking, and i need to realize that! i'm working on it atm (or trying to) and ngl the sturniolo triplets on YT are lowk helping a lot <3 (THEY HAVE LITERALLY BECOME MY NEW COMFORT PEOPLE AH) soo, you can sorta see why i would be particularly brain dead + lacking that motivation to do my work early sometimes, because i reallyy dread the process that i know i'll have to go through, plusss now a mental health situation i'm currently dealing with. so, there's a little insight about why i can't exactly squeeze Scratch into there, given all that mental chaos along with soccer practices and games during the sports season. more simply put, i've just been really busy with life /outside/ of Scratch that my life /inside/ of Scratch kinda hasn't exactly...been on my mind - yk? (going back to the very first paragraph btw) then ofc summer rolls around which was LOVELY and i finally got to go to bed not wondering if i had more work i needed to do the next day, and i got to wake up and enjoy not having to be somewhere in like 30 minutes ha! but unfortunately, due to that entire year of not focusing on Scratch, that spread into the summer as well. this is one of the sadder parts. i had to trade in my chromebook for a different one over the summer, one that didn't have a stylus...so basically i can't draw digitally anymore. it sucks a ton and means that i won't be able to animate (unless i go back to my lovely finger drawing lol), but i want y'all to know that that doesn't crush my artistic passion!! <3 i LOVE drawing in my sketch books and still have that drive to create art, but i think i'm okay with sticking to paper rather than on the screen. i believe this is all part of His plan for me, and maybe i can also use this as a way to cope with the anxiousness. i've said it many times that i enjoy art & animation simply as a hobby, and it was SO MUCH FUN getting to strengthen my digital art skills! but i feel that this might be the - i can't find the word but NOT end - of this era for me. during my digital drawing + animation era (more specifically in the COVID era) i had the time to fully focus on this craft as well as simultaneously saving myself from complete abandon + boredom. but now, i'm /okay/ with leaving this behind and doing other things that i want to pursue <3 so yes, if y'all are starting to get my jist, i don't think i'm going to post anymore, rather than maybe some art dumps out of unshared projects? i'll probably still be on here to chat with people and stuff, but otherwise i've come to terms that this is a sign this craft will be on break for a long, long time. (i'm so sorry this got so serious all of a sudden bleh) i have been getting comments about how i can purchase some cheap drawing tablets & stylus', which I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU FOR!! but i've come to this conclusion <333 ALSO SO SORRY for the rant this literally doesn't feel like an update anymore pff- - - - hope y'all like this RainWing drawing i made, i drew it a while back when i had my stylus (the original drawing is somber hence the muted colors, but i changed the frown to a smile; still lowk matches the contents of my update ^), and it might appear in a random art dump?? idk i'm just thinking of sharing the unshared art pieces i've worked on in the past months and never posted! - - - all art is by and rightfully belongs to me, @-Bloomii-, please do not remix this project nor trace, steal, recolor, or otherwise use my work. thank you! <3
