Yes, I’m depressed, about so many things. Just irl in general, is so bad for me. The pain won’t stop, I hear a beating in my ears when I move, and I just want to disappear and not be born, and art is my only way to get out of all my irl, but instead of soothing me, it plunges me into a whole world full of more drama and trouble. No one cares, no one listens, most people don’t even respond, and I say that I’m okay, I say it , BUT IM NOT OK, IM NOT OK, IM THE OPPOSITE OF OK, IM THE WORST, IM WORSE THAN THE WORST. EVERYTHING IS PULLING IN, CLOSING IN, BULLYING, ABUSE, ART HATE, THEFT, THE PAIN, ITS GETTING WORSE. Why can I not just disappear and never come back?
+ it’s not like ANYONE AT ALL CARES about my art. I try so hard on DTAS/OTAS/MYOS for them to get like no attention AT ALL. Like does anyone CARE AT ALL. I OVER OFFER ON EVERYONES OTAS, AND NO ONE EVEN CONSIDERS. AM I THAT BAD AT ART? I was drawing a Gwormlen in class and someone said ‘What’s that dog thing?’ LIKE MY LIFE IRL AND ONLINE IS JUST SO TERRIBLE CAN I JUST DISAPPEAR I WANT TO IM DYING.
