Kapi, if you're reading this, you're allowed to yell at me all you want. I know this doesn't change what I've done and the fact that I crossed some unsaid boundary, but yelling surprisingly helps relieve some of the stress.
I never thought it would come to this. I never thought that despite me trying, I wouldn't be able to maintain a good friendship with someone. What happened, you may ask? I got too careless. I thought I would be able to handle myself around people I truly liked and wanted to be friends with. Turns out, I can't. And now I have to deal with the consequences of my actions and the loss of one of the best friends I ever had. I truly hate myself and the way I am. I want to change it, but my personality isn't allowing it. And at this point? I don't know what to do and I'm genuinely questioning whether I should even be around other people at all. WHY DOES LIFE HAVE TO BE SO CRUEL?! also any suggestions of what kind of professional I should go see to help me fix my behavioral flaws and help me get back on my feet?
