meanderkit: The waiter at olive garden has been grating my cheese for 6 hours now, waiting for me to say when. customers are screaming. three people have died. meanderkit: i will not yield. legendkit: please! pretend i'm useful! voyagekit: i know what a prism is! it's where you put bad people. meanderkit: underestimate me. that'll be fun. voyagekit: i love you. legendkit: how many people have you said that to? voyagekit: everyone. legendkit: what? voyagekit: i told everyone 'i love you.' legendkit: i thought i told you to stop reading my emails. meanderkit: well, i thought i told you to stop keeping secrets! meanderkit: i’ve been here in jail so long i think I’ve lost my mind. meanderkit: the days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months. meanderkit: how long have i been in here now? almost a year? legendkit: this is monopoly. legendkit: what are you two arguing about this time? voyagekit: they’re always using common phrases incorrectly! meanderkit: cry me a table, voyagekit. voyagekit: are pigeons drones? legendkit: what? no, i'm trying to sleep. voyagekit: think about it. how come you've never seen a baby pigeon? and why do you never actually see a pigeon nest? because they're DRONES! legendkit: *crying* please let me sleep... store worker: would a “legendkit” please come to the front desk? legendkit, arriving at the desk: hello, is there a problem? store worker, pointing to meanderkit and voyagekit: i believe they belong to you? meanderkit and voyagekit, simultaneously: we got lost. legendkit: i didn’t even bring you guys here with me— voyagekit: meanderkit, you need to calm down. meanderkit, slamming their fists on the table: BUT HOW CAN IT BE "BIRTHDAY CAKE" FLAVOR IF A BIRTHDAY CAKE CAN BE ANY FLAVOR?! legendkit: regular soda is too sweet! meanderkit: diet soda has a weird after taste! legendkit: no! ugh, oh my god. diet soda is THE BEST! it doesn't have sugar! it's SPICY! meanderkit: it has other weird stuff in it! i'll take REGULAR sugar in my REGULAR soda! legendkit: it's SO SWEET like it's a dessert though! diet feels more like a drink! meanderkit: i'm going to physically attack you. legendkit: which is better, voyagekit? voyagekit: oh, i usually drink water! meanderkit: wha- NO! legendkit: DISGUSTING! meanderkit: how do you do that? legendkit: i'm fearless. voyagekit: i saw you run from bees yesterday. you flailed around and tripped over a chair. it was both hysterical and sad. legendkit: i'm mostly fearless. voyagekit: bet you can’t eat 15 crayons! meanderkit: bet you i can! legendkit: *sips coffee, checks to make sure 911 is still on speed dial, and goes back to reading the paper* voyagekit: we need to open this locked door. legendkit, give me your credit card. legendkit: here. voyagekit, pocketing it: thanks. meanderkit, break down the door. legendkit: i really like eminem. meanderkit: i prefer skittles. voyagekit: they are talking about the rapper. meanderkit: why would they eat the wrapper? legendkit: hey, did you know as a kid i accidentally ate paper? voyagekit: i feel like we've all done that at least once. meanderkit: i ate it too- voyagekit: see? meanderkit:: -on purpose... legendkit & voyagekit: ...what? legendkit to voyagekit: me? i'm the bee knees, but, you? you're just... meanderkit: cockroach ankles! legendkit: ye- uh, what? voyagekit: i am strong! i beat legendkit at arm wrestling! meanderkit: anyone can beat legendkit at arm wrestling! legendkit: hey- voyagekit: legendkit just insisted meanderkit and i remember a code word in case we’re ever confronted by their clone or a cyborg doppelgänger and we’re not sure which is the real them and which is the imposter. voyagekit: some families have a fire escape plan, but not us. meanderkit: that was the worst throw ever. of all time. voyagekit: not my fault. somebody put a wall in the way. legendkit: thank you for not saying "i told you so." meanderkit: when you’re as right as i am, you don’t have to say it. legendkit: what are you guys doing? voyagekit: like in life in general or- meanderkit: not much. why, what's up? legendkit: i dunno, I’m bored playing ac. meanderkit: assassins creed? legendkit: animals creed. voyagekit: assassins crossing. voyagekit: i am 39 cheetos tall. legendkit: why... are you measuring your height in cheetos? voyagekit: because we're out of doritos. legendkit: hi, who's this? meanderkit changed all of my contacts to mythical creatures. voyagekit: what's mine? legendkit: dwarf. voyagekit: THEY'RE SO MEAN, I'M NOT THAT SHORT! legendkit: oh, hey voyagekit. voyagekit, tearing up the room: where are they? voyagekit, looking under a pillow: who moved them? who moved my children? voyagekit: somebody moved my m&m's, and now i am going to start killing.
