i dont know what to do anymore. for the past 3 weeks ive just been feeling depressed. and this hasnt happened before. i feel as if i lost a loved one when i didnt. i hate it. i want it to stop. i go to sleep everyday with a feeling of hatred. my legs are tired and everytime i go to soccer practice my friends ask "whats wrong?" nothings wrong. nothing at all. right? but i truly dont know inside. i want to say the reason but all that comes out is "nothing". i lie in bed and wonder. whats going on?? is it because of my murder drones situation? or because im just feeling lazy? i wonder, and wonder, and the only thing comes to mind is "nothing", i know i lost a loved one years ago but ive gotten over that. that shouldn't be affecting me now. im just. stuck. stuck in a position of wondering. no matter what fun i have that hole in my heart is just there. it sucks, it really does. and as i write this, stress eating a subway sandwich, i still wonder, why?
