Gem is on vacation right now--We got a new member of the Ame-China-UK-gang; Japan! ___________________________________________ UK: Why do you act like we’re three year olds? Japan, exasperated: WHY?!? Japan points at America: YOU TRIED TO HYJACK A CAR! Japan points at China: YOU NEARLY JUMPED 20 FEET OFF A CARPARK! Japan points at UK: AND YOU ATE MULTIPLE DRIED LEAVES AND ROCKS OFF THE GROUND! Japan: AND YOU ASK ME /WHY/???? ___________________________________________ UK: Question, how difficult would it be to bowl in a bee suit? China: Not that hard, I don't think, as long as you can move. America: I'd assume as hard as it is to bowl in a maid outfit. America: Wouldn't be any harder, but you'd get some WEIRD looks. Japan: Are you speaking from experience? America: No! America: America: ....Maybe. ___________________________________________ China and America: *making loud, shouty gorilla sounds at each other* UK: Japan, exasperatedly: We have a guest. ___________________________________________ America: Why did you kidnap Japan!?!?! UK: Ah- um- well- the reason for that is, uhh... China: Sometimes, we must work together towards a common goal. America: NOT TO KIDNAP PEOPLE! ___________________________________________ Japan: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos. America: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard. UK: But what if I d1e tomorrow and never eat any nachos? China: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day. ___________________________________________ Japan: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel. America: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel. UK: A realist sees a freight train. China: The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks. ___________________________________________ China: On the count of three, what’s your favorite cake? China & America: One, two, three- China & America: Chocolate cake, peanutbutter frosting, and chocolate chunks! UK: Our turn, Japan! One, two, three- UK: Vanilla! Japan, deadpan: I’ve never had cake before. What is cake? ___________________________________________ China, UK & America: *screaming* Japan: *runs into the room* What's wrong, UK?! China: Wait, why are you asking UK that when America and I are also here? Japan: Because UK wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance. ___________________________________________ Japan: D1e. UK: Please don't d1e! Japan: D1E! UK: PLEASE DON'T D1E! China, confused: Why are they yelling at a plant? America, watching while eating popcorn: They bought it together and UK wants Japan to accept it as their kid. ___________________________________________ China: Oh gosh I wish I got more sleep I only got six hours! UK: Six? I only got three! Japan: You guys got sleep? America, comes stumbling out of his room and grabs a jug of coffee before saying: What year is it?? ___________________________________________ *The gang is learning CPR on a test dummy* America: So, assessing the situation. Are they breathing? Japan: No, America. They are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs. America: No, that’s not part of it— Japan: Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what kind of quality of life do we have there? UK: I would want to live with no legs. Japan: How about no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, UK. You don’t do anything. America: All right, well, lets get back to it. ‘Cause you’re losing him. Japan: *pumps frantically* America: Okay, too fast. Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of a 100 beats per minute. Japan: Okay, that’s uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour? China: How’s that gonna help you? Japan: I will divide and then count to it. China: Right. America: Okay. Well, a good trick is to pump to the tune of ‘Staying Alive’ by the Bee Gees. Do you know that song? Japan: Yes, yes I do. I love that song. *clears throat, begins to sing* First I was afraid, I was petrified. America: Wha--no, Japan, continue. ___________________________________________ China: Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, and wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. America: That's deep. Japan: That means that ketchup is a smoothie. America: That's deeper. UK: ...You guys are idiots. ___________________________________________ China: You guys worried about UK? Japan: Totally! America: Yeah, they called me in the middle of the night and just yelled, "what do I do, what do I do, what do I do, what do I do?" China: And what'd you say? America: "I dunno, I dunno, I dunno, I dunno." Japan: China: He's lucky to have you as a friend. ___________________________________________ A SITUATION that only has two people~ ___________________________________________ China: I did it! I memorized everything in the book! I'm gonna ace this test! America: Ok, China, I'll give you one more question before you go. What ended in 1918? China: 1917. America: ...You're ready.
I used an Incorrect Quote generator! All the others: https://scratch.mit.edu/studios/32926710
