{Example Paragraph: The waterfall goes down a hill and it is surrounded by red trees and there is a blue sky over it. A foggy mountain is seen in the distance that is very tall and craggy it looks like it is ruling the trees and waterfall that are at the foot of the foggy mountain.} Please answer the following questions. Is this "writer" useful in their word choice? No way! "red trees"? Scarlet pines! "Ruling the trees"? Towering over the vermillion wonders. Can this "writer" set a mood with words? No. It would help the writer to use more powerful word choice and for them to add more expressive words that hold more emotion. What is wrong with the grammar? The writer connects the sentences and makes them too long. Identify 3 points the "writer" could have elaborated on. "red trees"? Scarlet pines! "Ruling the trees"? Towering over the vermillion wonders! "Blue sky over it"? Dark clouds sailing on the tempestuous sky!
(Example Paragraph: The tall red pines tower over a wide rushing river. The grandiose mountain oversees the serenity of the vermillion treasures. Although the magnificent waters are pure, bits of the mighty trees have fallen into its grasp.) Now rewrite the paragraph in your own words. Try to provide details without detailing the exactness of everything. Remember to use grammar and word connotation. Rewrite: (A grandiose mountain stands tall against an onslaught of wind. It guards the serenity of these vermillion pines, who tower over a magnificent river. It rushes as if to escape this ruby forest.) Copy and paste the following paragraph, then make edits. (The trees are wonderful and are also red almost like apples but not really. There is also a river near the trees which are in front of a mountain that oversees a cloudy sky. Probably there are many animals in this pretty and quiet place and the stream might have fish and cool plants too.) The magnificent pines are red as rubies. The rushing river is near the trees which grow on the foothills of this stupendous mountain. The tall peaks oversee a tempestuous cloudy sky. The quiet stream must be filled with salmon and sliver wolves must populate these glorious woods.
