Only cranky, grace, and jazzy sorry bros —— Pizzazzjazz: Am I a boy? Am I a girl? It doesn't matter. I'm going to burn your house down. —— Marigoldgrace, as a cop: You ran a red light. Thistlecape: So did you, hypocrite. Marigoldgrace: I was following you. Thistlecape: That was dumb, I'm a terrible driver. Marigoldgrace: Get out. —— Thistlecape: I know you snuck out last night, Pizzazzjazz. Marigoldgrace: Play dumb! Pizzazzjazz: Who's Pizzazzjazz? Marigoldgrace: NOT THAT DUMB!!! —— Pizzazzjazz: I told mom her ears flush when shes lies. Marigoldgrace: Why? Pizzazzjazz: Look. Pizzazzjazz: Hey Thistlecape! Do you love us? Thistlecape, covering their ears: No. Marigoldgrace: —— Thistlecape: Pizzazzjazz and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us Marigoldgrace: *Sighing* What did Pizzazzjazz do? Thistlecape: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and... Pizzazzjazz: Who wants a steering wheel? —— Thistlecape: HELP! I TOLD MARIGOLDGRACE I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK! Pizzazzjazz, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help? —— Thistlecape: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on. Pizzazzjazz: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Marigoldgrace isn’t —— Marigoldgrace, to Pizzazzjazz: My life is in the hands of an idiot! Pizzazzjazz, motioning to themself and Thistlecape: No no no no no, TWO idiots! —— Pizzazzjazz: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life Marigoldgrace: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind? Pizzazzjazz: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die. Thistlecape: edible —— Pizzazzjazz: Change is inedible. Marigoldcape: Don't you mean inevitable? Pizzazzjazz, spitting out coins: No, I did not. —— Pizzazzjazz: If you had to choose between Marigoldcape and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose? Thistlecape: That depends, how much money are we taking about? Marigoldcape: Thistlecape! Pizzazzjazz: 63 cents. Thistlecape: I'll take the money. Marigoldcape: THISTLECAPE!!! —— Pizzazzjazz: I feel like Marigoldgrace is looking down on me. Thistlecape: That’s because they’re on the counter and you’re short. —— *The fam is eating dinner* Marigoldgrace: Can you pass the salt? Thistlecape: *throws Pizzazzjazz across the table* —— Thistlecape: Is there anyone here who’s actually straight? Marigoldgrace: *raises hand* Pizzazzjazz: *puts their hand down* —— Pizzazzjazz: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Thistlecape? Thistlecape: No. Marigoldgrace: I do! Pizzazzjazz: I know, Marigoldgrace. Marigoldgrace: I’m sad. Pizzazzjazz: I know, Marigoldgrace. —— *right after Pizzazzjazz joins the clan* Marigoldgrace: Thistlecape is having my sibling! Pizzazzpaw: Oh, cangradu- Thistlecape, slamming adoption papers onto the table: It's you, sign here. —— Marigoldgrace: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter a. Pizzazzjazz: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory. Thistlecape: Go die. —— Marigoldgrace: Without ugly, there would be no beauty in this world. Pizzazzjazz: Thank you for your sacrifice, Thistlecape. —— Marigoldgrace: Yesterday, I overheard Thistlecape saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Pizzazzjazz replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life. —— Pizzazzjazz: Aww, what's your dog's name? Marigoldgrace: Spartacus. Pizzazzjazz, yelling to Thistlecape: TRY SPARTACUS! Thistlecape, on the computer: DIDN'T WORK! Marigoldgrace: Pizzazzjazz: What's your favorite number? —— Thistlecape: I mean. Pizzazzjazz's just standing there now. Thistlecape: Waiting for me, I guess. Thistlecape: But it's okay, I think they've pretty much settled down. Marigoldgrace: Settled down? Thistlecape: Well, they only stabbed me once. —— Pizzazzjazz: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying. —— Pizzazzjazz, taping a knife onto a Roomba: Be free, my child. Thistlecape, entering the room with a small cut on their ankle: Who the f- —— Thistlecape: Am I going to far? Pizzazzjazz: No, no, no. You went too far about 7 hours ago. Now you’re going to prison. —— Thistlecape: *on the phone* Just snap his kneecaps and he’ll talk, I’m at a parent teacher conference. Thistlecape: Anyways, you said Marigoldpaw is enjoying finger painting! That's great. —— Marigoldgrace: Do we have any orange juice left? Pizzazzjazz: *pours the remaining juice into their cup* Pizzazzjazz: Sorry, we’re all out. —— Marigoldgrace: I'm a nice person, but I'm about to start throwing rocks at people. ——
Marigoldgrace: What do you call disobeying the law? Pizzazzjazz: A hobby. Marigoldgrace: *crosses their arms* Pizzazzjazz: That we do not engage in. —— Pizzazzjazz: I don’t go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me first. —— Marigoldgrace: That sounds like a terrible plan. Pizzazzjazz: Oh, I’ve had worse. —— Thistlecape: Stop failing. Pizzazzjazz: Don’t tell me what to do! I'll fail right now! Pizzazzjazz: *Succeeds* Pizzazzjazz: Dang it! —— Thistlecape: What is everyone for Halloween? Marigoldgrace: I’m superman. Pizzazzjazz: A clown. Thistlecape: So I’m guessing we don’t need to get you a costume then? —— Marigoldgrace: Self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath or putting on a lot of make up if you like that, or taking a nice warm nap and stuff like that basically. Thistlecape: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you. self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists. self care is the fear in your enemies eyes. Pizzazzjazz: Self care is stealing someones birthday cake just to eat the frosting. Thistlecape: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands. —— *note: each one ahead has Gale as well* —— Marigoldgrace: They... well, I wouldn't call it inheritance per se. What do you call it when you kill someone and get their stuff? Pizzazzjazz: Um, murder??? Nightinggalepaw: Adventuring! Thistlecape: Tuesday. —— Marigoldgrace: My stomach growled super loud in French. Marigoldgrace: I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class. Thistlecape: Bonjour. Nightinggalepaw: Le growl. Pizzazzjazz: Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette. —— Marigoldgrace: Are you laughing at that video of Nightinggalepaw and Pizzazzjazz fighting? Thistlecape: No. Thistlecape: I'm laughing at the comments. —— Thistlecape: Made you all playlists! Thistlecape: Nightinggalepaw, yours has only cartoon openings because, well… Thistlecape: Marigoldgrace, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression. Thistlecape: And Pizzazzjazz has the ABBA Gold album. —— Marigoldgrace: It’s time to turn this into a real business. Pizzazzjazz: What do you mean? Like, carry a briefcase, and wear a tie, and pay taxes? Marigoldgrace: Wait, have you not been paying your taxes? Nightinggalepaw: I handle it’s accounting. Marigoldgrace: YOU’RE A CHILD! —— Marigoldgrace: Good night. Nightinggalepaw: Sleep tight. Thistlecape: Don't let the bedbugs crawl up to your ear and whisper threatening things that make you question yourself. Pizzazzjazz: Great, now Nightinggalepaw's crying. —— Nightinggalepaw & Pizzazzjazz in the back of Thistlecape's car: MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! Marigoldgrace: We have food at home. Thistlecape: *pulls into the McDonald's drivethrough* Nightinggalepaw & Pizzazzjazz: YAYYYYYY! Thistlecape: *orders one black coffee and leaves* —— Marigoldgrace: I just want someone to take me out. Nightinggalepaw: On a date? Pizzazzjazz: With a sniper gun? Thistlecape: Both if you're not a coward. —— Marigoldgrace, teaching Nightinggalepaw to drive: Okay, you're driving and Thistlecape and Pizzazzjazz walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit? Nightinggalepaw: Oh, definitely Pizzazzjazz. I could never hurt Thistlecape. She’d hurt me back. Marigoldgrace, massaging her temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes. —— Nightinggalepaw: I'm bored. Pizzazzjazz: Wanna commit first degree murder? Nightinggalepaw: Sure! Marigoldgrace, hearing them: No- Stop, don't do that! Put that knife down! Put Thistlecape down!! —— Marigoldgrace: We call that a traumatic experience. Marigoldgrace, turning to Thistlecape: Not a "bruh moment". Marigoldgrace, turning to Nightinggalepaw: Not "sadge". Marigoldgrace, turning to Pizzazzjazz: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO". —— Pizzazzjazz, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it- Nightinggalepaw, whispering: Should we call the exorcist? Thistlecape, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick. Marigoldgrace, appalled: Call the exorcist. —— Marigoldgrace: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely. Thistlecape, Pizzazzjazz, & Nightinggalepaw: Okay. Marigoldgrace: If you don't want to die, give me all your money. Thistlecape: Bold of you to assume I have money. Pizzazzjazz: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die. Nightinggalepaw: Bold of you to assume I can die. —— Thistlecape: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions? Nightinggalepaw: Put spaghetti in it. Thistlecape: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you. Pizzazzjazz: Put spaghetti in it. Thistlecape: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two. Marigoldgrace: Put spaghetti in it. Thistlecape: I am no longer taking suggestions. ——
