Painkillers are the 'Mute Notifications' option for the body The fact that bodies decompose and rot after they die just shows how much our bodies do to keep us alive from contaminates We go to work by cars each day, taking the same route, but almost never encounter the same cars along the way One day your parents put you down and never picked you up again. Maybe that day hasn’t come yet. We will never know. Once every year, we pass the date we die, but don’t know it Most people aren't scared of being alone in the dark — they're scared of not being alone in the dark The posted speed limit is the legally accepted maximum limit, but the socially accepted minimum limit The most attractive people you will ever see are often random passersby in public — who you will never see again, not celebrities you can follow on social media All adults were children, but not all children will become adults Biscuits and gravy are weird because it’s like, 'Here’s some really wet flour poured over some really dry flour' At some point in life, there was a stranger who got disappointed by how your voice sounded when you started talking We advocate not judging a book by its cover, but also glorify 'love at first sight' If 24-hour clocks started at 23:59 and counted down till 00:01, people might try getting more done Someone out there vividly remembers something you said, which you have completely forgotten Making a typo in an online argument is the equivalent of your voice cracking in a verbal argument As an identical triplet, you are simultaneously one of the rarest and most common people on the planet The asteroid that ended the dinosaurs was technically the highest ratio of killing birds to one stone in Earth's history Every minute of your day, you have to trust other people not to kill you Even when a balloon is half inflated, it is completely full If I punch myself in the face and it hurts...does that make me weak or strong? Car design used to accommodate smokers with lighters and ash trays, but now we're a decade into the smartphone era, and auto makers still haven't thought to include a phone mount It's crazy that's there's this giant thing in the sky all the time that we're not supposed to look at "Where are you" is probably the least used phrase in both sign language and pre-online messaging Earth Dogs probably destroy shoes because they see humans put them on before they leave the house Brushing your teeth is the only time you clean your skeleton Imagine how terrifying fire would be if it wasn't a light source... Using solar panels to power an air conditioning unit is like using the Sun's power against itself The craziest prediction that the tv show "The Jetsons" made about life that far in the future was that a man could still support a middle class family of 4 by working in a factory The sinking of the Titanic must have been a miracle to the lobsters in the kitchen The object of golf is to play the least amout of golf Why do people say "tuna fish" when they don't say "beef mammal" or "chicken bird"? When the older generations says this generation is terrible, they're really saying they sucked as parents Every time I check my pockets for my wallet, keys, and phone, I do 25% of the macarena It would be a good idea to have "The Price Is Right" with billionaires, just to see how out of touch they are In order to fall asleep, you have to pretend to be asleep When jogging, we put on special clothes so people don't think we are running from or to something Clapping is just hitting your hands together repeatedly because you like something I am 100% confident that if I ever hit a kid with my car, it will be because I'm staring at my speedometer in a school zone Scientists are adult kids stuck in the "why phase" Tobacco companies should be leading in the search for a cancer cure. The day after a cure is found, sales of cigarettes are going to go up by 500,000% from the millions that quit for health / longevity reasons.
