Special Edition, with the original gang! China, America, UK, and Gem! ___________________________________________ UK: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute. Gem: No, that's not how you make cookies-- China: FLOOR IT!! UK: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!? Gem: YOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN-- UK: /I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FRICKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES/!!! America: DO IT! Gem: NO-- ___________________________________________ *The gang when they drop food on the floor* UK: Aw man. *Throws it away* China: Five second rule! America: Foolish germs, thinking they can stop me?! *Eats it off the floor* Gem: *Sobs on the floor* ___________________________________________ UK: My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco. America: My life is a little too much fall and not enough boy. Gem: My life is a little too much chemical and not enough romance. China: My life is a little too much imagination and not nearly enough dragons. ___________________________________________ Gem: HYDRATE OR D1E-DRATE! Gem: *aggressively throws water bottles* China: Uh... what's up with her? UK: She's trying to yell mental health and well being into us. Gem: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU!!! America, crying: /It's working/. ___________________________________________ UK: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely. China, Gem, & America: Okay. UK: If you don't want to d1e, give me all your money. China: Bold of you to assume I have money. America: Bold of you to assume I don't want to d1e. Gem: Bold of you to assume I can actually d1e. ___________________________________________ UK: I'm cold. Gem: Here, take my hoodie. *meanwhile* America: I'm cold. China: I can't control the weather, America. ___________________________________________ Gem, pointing to the wall: What color is this? UK: Gray. America: Grey. Gem, turning to China: Now tell them what color you think it is. China: Dark white. ___________________________________________ China & America in the back of Gem's car: MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! UK: We have food at home. Gem: *pulls into the McDonald's drivethrough* China & America: YAYYYYYY! Gem: *orders one black coffee and leaves* ___________________________________________ *The squad is playing a team sport* UK: Are you upset you don’t get to be on the same team as China? Gem: Have you ever played a game with China? UK: No… Gem: Have you ever been trapped in a cage with a wolverine? *Meanwhile, on the other side of the field* China, chasing America: I SAID FASTER! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD “FASTER” MEANS? IT MEANS MORE FAST!!! ___________________________________________ China: What's worse than a heartbreak? America: Waking up in the morning and your phone wasn't charging. UK: Waking up in the morning. Gem: Waking up. ___________________________________________ *at an awards show* America: Can I carry you on my back like China did? Gem: I don't think UK would like that. America: *pouts* *Later* America: *carrying Gem on his back* UK: What the heck?? Gem: What was I supposed to do? Say no? ___________________________________________ America: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything? UK: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital. America: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you. UK: But I heard a siren. Gem: That was China. China: Sorry, I got nervous. ___________________________________________ China: My stomach growled super loud in French. China: I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class. UK: Bonjour. Gem: Le growl. America: Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette. ___________________________________________ Gem: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions? UK: Put spaghetti in it. Gem: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you. China: Put spaghetti in it. Gem: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two. America: Put spaghetti in it. Gem: I am no longer taking suggestions. ___________________________________________ UK, watching China & America panic : What's going on? Gem: China is having a midlife crisis and America is just having a crisis. ___________________________________________ Gem: Shh, here comes UK! China: Quick, America, start talking about boring nerd stuff! America: You know, nerd culture is mainstream now, so when you use the word “nerd” derogatorily, it means you’re the one that’s out of the zeitgeist. China: Yes, that’s perfect. Just like that. ___________________________________________ *Comments under an image of a really hot kn1fe cutting bread* Gem: Imagine st@bbing someone with this kn1fe. UK: It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn't bl33d, so it's not very useful. China: if you want information it is America: why would you ST@B a person when you can have TOAST? ___________________________________________
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