Special Edition, with the original gang! China, America, UK, and Gem! ___________________________________________ America, teaching Gem to drive: Okay, you're driving and UK and China walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit? Gem: Oh, definitely China. I could never hurt UK. America, massaging his temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes. ___________________________________________ America: LOWERCASE LETTERS ARE FOR THE LOWER CLASS! China: And here we have a capitalist. UK: Did you just- Gem: Let us all take a moment to appreciate that all of human history, human language, and the universe itself aligned to make this joke possible. ___________________________________________ UK: Who wants to go out of the country on a road trip? Gem: Yeah, I could catch chickens! America: I could hang out with the boys! China: I could hide from the consequences of my actions. ___________________________________________ UK: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel. America: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel. China: A realist sees a freight train. Gem: The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks. ___________________________________________ UK: *sees America and China together* UK: They're cute. I would put them on a boat. Gem: You mean... you ship them? ___________________________________________ UK: Where is China? America: I'll do you one better, who is China?? Gem: Here's a better question, /why/ is China??? ___________________________________________ China: That's ridiculous, America doesn't have a crush on me. Gem: Yes he does. UK: Yes he does. America: Yes I do. ___________________________________________ *The gang responding to being stabbed by a sword* America: Rude. UK: That's fair. Gem: Not again. China: Are you gonna want this back or can I keep it? ___________________________________________ UK: Which country has the most birds? UK: Portu-geese! America: That's a language. UK: Portu-gull? America: Good recovery. China: I think you mean good re-dovery. Gem: TURKEY. HOW DID WE MISS TURKEY? ___________________________________________ America: What’s up with Gem? She's been laying on the floor for like…an hour now? China: She's just a little overwhelmed. America: Why? China: UK smiled at her. ___________________________________________ China: Small creatures are much more vicious because they have a smaller body to bottle up all their emotions. America: Ridiculous. Give me some examples. Gem: Wasps? UK: Terriers? China: America. ___________________________________________ UK: Good night. America: Sleep tight. China: Don't let the bedbugs crawl up to your ear and whisper threatening things that make you question yourself. Gem: Great, now America's crying. ___________________________________________ Gem: How do America and China usually get out of these messes? UK: They don't. They just make a bigger mess that cancels the first one out. ___________________________________________ China: I just watched America jump off of a spinning chair. Luckily, he wasn't hurt that badly. But the whole time, UK was screaming for help, which caused Gem to run in to help America. Just note that all of this happened in the span of six minutes. ___________________________________________ *Gem is in the kitchen and she hears a crash from the living room* Gem, running into the living room: WHAT ON EARTH HAPPENED HERE?!?! China, looking at the broken TV screen and the remote on the floor: I was trying to throw the remote onto the TV stand! Gem: And America didn’t stop you?! China, pointing at a sleeping America: He's been asleep for the past three hours. UK, walking in, oblivious to the situation: Hey guys- UK, realizing: Wait, is the TV broken? Why?! Gem, pointing at China: He threw the remote onto the TV stand. UK: Come on! That’s the 5th time this week and it’s 2 in the morning on a Tuesday! America, waking up to see the situation: *yawns* How long was I out? America, seeing the broken TV: OH GOSH NOT AGAIN! CHINA, I TOLD YOU NOT TO! China: You were asleep! And I always take a window of opportunity when I see it! Gem and UK, in unison: But you broke the- China: My work here is done. If anyone asks, I was never. *dashes out of the living room* ___________________________________________ UK: Where's America? Gem: Don't worry, I'll find them. Gem, shouting: China sucks! America, distantly: China is the best person ever! Flip you! Gem: Found him. ___________________________________________ *after the Squad's plan goes horribly wrong* UK: Now it seems we're back at square one-- finding China. America: For the record, I already found him. Gem: And you let him get away before we could have a meaningful conversation. America: He stabbed me! UK: I'm surprised he waited this long, America. We've all had the urge. ___________________________________________ UK: Are you laughing at that video of China and America fighting? Gem: No. Gem: I'm laughing at the comments. ___________________________________________
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