haha this describes my brain "your so wholesome and pure" like i swear if i ever get the guts to post this y'all are gonna turn over in your graves im in so much pain but who cares sounds like a me problem right? Tw vent: I'm talking to my IRL family ( my mom my dads (step and biological ) and my sister ): if I could say all the things I wanted too maybe then i'd be free but I hold my tongue, i sit and listen to you scream and yell at me, constantly teasing me taking it to far, dictating my life just to show you can. you don't love me you dont care, cause if you did then you wouldn't sigh everytime I said I was hurting, you would shut down all my questions bc your too busy, if you cared then you wouldn't get annoyed bc i dont know how to be happy. I try so hard to be what you want of me but no matter what i do you hate me, you have to find my flaws in everything i do and tease me make fun of me for it. you have no sympathy bc all you care about is your perfect image. you don't show up when i need it the most you just push me away with a look of contemn and annoyance. im so done. im done playing by your rules, im done pretending to be someone im not. im sad and im depressed, i have flaws and i make mistakes. im hurting and broken, bc of you, bc you left me and yelled at me and discarded me. you want me to be smart and good, but im not and im not going to sit here and let you tell me who to be. not anymore. look at me now. are you proud. are you proud of the monster inside me, the one that tears me apart every time I look into your eyes. ofc your not, you didn't even know, bc i dont say a word, i sit and take every bullet you shoot at me, not dead just not alive, haha well maybe a lil dead. to think i thought maybe i could trust you. to think that i thought i would have a good kind family one that loves me one that cares and doesn't leave me crying on my own, one that doesn't discard me as soon as im an inconvenience.
don't even try to read my vent, its all garbage no one cares about anyways, i mean what are you gonna do about it "im so sorry emo, i hope it gets better" no one cares until you burst no one thinks twice until you scream at the top of your lungs saying "i am here and i am hurt" ha dont pretend im tired of the lies anyways...
