So do any of you remember Mario Bros? The episodes were just about Mario and Luigi doing adventures and defeating Bowser and some other villans. That was really it. Well, anyway, I hear there is one episode that was unreleased to even the most avid classic Nintendo fans. According to sources, it's nothing special. It's just a continuous loop (like Flintstones) of Mario walking past three mushroom houses that goes on for a minute and 47 seconds before cutting out. Unlike the bangers of the usual game music, the song on this episode was not a song at all, just a constant banging on a piano for a minute and twenty seconds before going to white noise for the remainder of the film. It wasn't the good ol' Mario we've come to love either, Mario wasnt saving Princess Peach, or defeating Bowser. He wasn't even smiling, just kind of walking as if you or I were walking, with an expression of dismal on his face. Up until a year or two ago, everyone believed that after it cut to black, that was it. When Fusajiro Yamauchi was reviewing the episode to be put in the complete series, he decided it was too junk to be on the DVD, but wanted to have a backup copy due to the fact that it was a creation from the late Nintendo CEO. When he had a digitized version up on his computer to look at the file, he noticed something. The cartoon was actually 9 minutes and 50 seconds long. This is what my source emailed to me, in full (he is a personal assistant of one of the higher executives at Nintendo Studios, and acquaintance of Fusajiro Yamauchi himself): "After it cut to black, it stayed like that until the 4:46 mark, before going back into Mario walking. The sound was different this time. It was a murmur. It wasn't a language, but more like a gurgled cry. As the noise got more indistinguishable and loud over the next minute, and the dismal face of Mario was slowly curling into a smirk. At the 5:48 mark, Mario had his teeth bared, still smiling, as if he was enjoying hearing the gurgled cries. At 6:11, his eyes rolled to the back of his head. 20 seconds later, the murmur turned into a bloodcurdling scream (the kind of scream painful to hear). Fusajiro got disturbed and left the room, sending an employee to finish the video and take notes of everything happening up until the last second, and afterward immediately store the episode away. At 7:56, Mario's face was becoming demented. His eyes were bulging out, and his teeth were red. Mario was beginning to speed up as the background was beginning to twist in a distorted manner. This distortion got worse until Mario finally stopped walking with his face pressed up against the screen. If I recall correctly, he grabbed a syringe full of blood and stabbed himself in the nose, to which he fell onto the ground offscreen. The screaming finally stopped as well. This happened for about 50 seconds, and whatever was in that remaining 50 seconds I haven't been able to get a sliver of information about. From a security guard working under me who was making rounds outside of that room, I was told that after the last frame, the employee stumbled out of the room with pale skin saying "Real suffering is not known" seven times before speedily taking the guard's pistol and offing himself on the spot. The thing I could get out of Fusajiro Yamauchi was that the last shot was a piece of Russian text that roughly said "every nintendo fan reaches insanity sooner or later". As far as I know, no one else has seen it, but there have been dozens of attempts at getting the file on Rapidshare by employees inside the studios, all of whom have been promptly terminated of their jobs. Whether it got online or not is up for debate, but if rumors serve me right, it's online somewhere under "Marioshroom.avi". If you ever find a copy of the episode, I want you to never view it, and to contact me by phone immediately, regardless of the time. Get back at me, Fusajiro Yamauchi" I've yet to find a copy of this, but it is out there. I know it. Obvious S******mouse.avi ripoff is obvious.
