I’m scared of failure. I feel like if I’m not doing well enough in life then everything would just fall apart for me. Failure, in this case, means many things. Whether it’s failing in school, at home, or with friends or family. I know I’m not perfect, but I feel like that even when I’m trying my best, it always ends up like I’m doing nothing. I feel overwhelmed at the slightest things, I’m scared to lose what I already have and be just a nobody, like I already am. My friends at school, there’s only one or two, but it seems like I’m so revolting, that I can’t even keep them happy with me for at least more than a couple weeks. One do them literally said that they didn’t like me to my face! That just lets me know how useless I really am, just pushed aside like that. And my best friend, who I’ve been with since preschool, hardly even talks to me anymore! And when I asked her why, she said she was better friends with a kid she hadn’t know for not nearly as long as she had me. I guess I’m just really sensitive to hurtful comments and stuff like that. I can’t stick up for myself at all, and I look like a fool if I try anything of the sorts. Which makes me a total target and an unpopular nobody. No one talks to me, I look like a total idiot, and if someone tries to comfort me, it’s only bc a teacher or someone else sent them to do so. I guess I just bottle it up so I look more approachable, but it doesn’t seem to work anyway. I’m really quiet and people just avoid me anyway.. So anyways- just my little emotional vent today talking bout my crippling anxiety and fear of never being good enough for anybody! :’D
