Context: Barbra and Erne are an old(ish not super old I mean-) married couple ;-; and there is a ghost in my house )1 Fluff: Yo is Erne sleeping or d3ad ? Ghost: Hopefully d3ad, I hated their guts. Barbra : Yeah, so did I. Erne : Okay first of all, l-ve you- )2 Fluff: Ghost, I'm sad. Ghost: *Holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay. Barbra : Erne , I'm sad. Erne , nodding: mood. )3 Barbra: Ghost isn’t answering their phone Fluff : I’ll call Barbra: Erne and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi- Ghost: Hello? )4 Barbra: Truth or dare? Ghost: Dare Barbra: I dare you to k-ss the hottest person in the room Ghost: Hey Erne Erne , blushing: Yeah? Ghost: Could you move? I’m trying to get to Fluff )5 Fluff, about Ghost: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group. Barbra : Are we stealing them? Erne : New or used? Fluff: Wonderful responses, both of you. )6 *Fluff is cooking* Ghost: Any chance that’s for me? Fluff: It’s for Erne . I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need them on my side. Barbra : I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment. )7 Fluff, Ghost, and Barbra are sitting on a bench Erne : Why do you guys look so sad? Fluff: Sit down with us so we can tell you. *Erne sits down* Ghost: The bench is freshly painted. )8 Fluff: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions? Ghost: Put spaghetti in it. Fluff: I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you. Barbra : Put spaghetti in it. Fluff: I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two. Erne : Put spaghetti in it. Fluff: I'm no longer taking suggestions. )9 Fluff: Have you seen a person named 'Ghost' around here? Barbra : Ugh, yes. They made a horrible mess of the bl—d fountain. Erne : It looks fine to me? Barbra : IT USED TO BE WATER... )10 Fluff: *Gently taps table* Ghost: *Taps back* Barbra : What are they doing? Erne : Morse code. Fluff: *Aggressively taps table* Ghost: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK- )11 Fluff: I just ended a four year relationship. Ghost: Oh, I’m so sorry. Are you okay? Fluff: Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine. It wasn’t my relationship. *Barbra and Erne fighting from across the room* )12 Fluff: Is st-bbing someone immoral? Ghost: Not if they consent to it. Barbra : Depends who you’re stabbing. Erne : YES?.? )13 Fluff: Listen, I can explain... Ghost: You’re making $500,000 and you’re only gonna pay me $30,000? Barbra : You’re getting 30 grand? I’m getting $1,000. Erne : You guys are getting paid? )14 Fluff: Why is Ghost so sad? Barbra : They took one of those “Which Character Are You?” quizzes Fluff: And...? Barbra: They got Erne . )15 Fluff: Wake me up… Ghost: Before you go go. Barbra : When September ends… Erne : WAKE ME UP INSIDE- )16 Barbra: Why are your tongues purple? Fluff : We had slushies. I had a blue one. Ghost : I had a red one. Barbra: oh Barbra: Barbra: OH Erne: Erne: You drank each other's slushies? )18 Fluff: Everyone, synchronize your watches. Ghost: I don’t know how to do that. Barbra : I don’t wear a watch. Erne : Time is a construct. )19 Fluff: I think Erne was right. Ghost: I'm surprised they haven't marched in here to say 'I told you so.' Barbra : They wouldn't do that. Erne : You're right, Barbra . For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that. Erne : *turns around, the shirt they're wearing says 'Erne Told You So' on the back* )20 Fluff, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here. Ghost: Hey. Barbra : Hi. Erne : Hello. Fluff: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only. Ghost: We were out of Doritos. )21 Fluff: Rules are made to be broken. Ghost: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken. Barbra : Uh, piñatas. Erne : Glow sticks. Barbra: Karate boards. Fluff: Rules. Ghost: )22 Fluff: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Ghost: Several traffic violations. Barbra : Three counts of resisting arrest. Erne : Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Erne: Also, that’s not our car. )23 Fluff: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve k-lled anybody. I’m not an @rsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground. Ghost: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that. )24 Erne: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back. Barbra: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself. )25 Fluff: I’m going to take you out Ghost: great, it’s a d@te. Fluff: I meant that as a threat. Ghost: See you at five.
I’ve seen a few of these and thought why not bc I gots the link :)
