*The squad right before Red's wedding* Froggy: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend. Alex: Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too! Conner: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well Jack: I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND Mother Goose, panicked: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE ——— *The squad is over at Red's house* Froggy: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven? Red: ... N-No... Red, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have??? Froggy, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought! Alex: I see a- Red, motioning to one device: This is a microwave. Froggy: Oh, well I- Red: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave* Red, amazed: Its got a bake setting! Conner: Ohoho, you learn something new every day! Jack: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first? Red: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin! Red: I am someone who owns four ovens... Red, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS... Red: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens... Goldie, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven! Red: Froggy: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens! Red: Red, ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS ——— Froggy: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat* Red: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents Froggy: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you Alex: Actually I did the math, Red would have $225, not $0.15. Red: Fam I’m right here.... Conner: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :) Froggy: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please? Conner: Sorry I only have a dollar Froggy: :( Alex: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Red would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent Conner: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice Alex: You can buy anything you want with $22,500 Jack: Yeah and he wants soda and apply juice Alex: Apply juice to what Goldie: Directly to the forehead Red: Great chat everyone ——— Froggy: Just be yourself. Red: 'Be myself'? Froggy, I have one day to win Alex over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me? Conner: Couple weeks. Jack: Six months. Goldie: Jury’s still out. Red: See, Froggy? Red: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that? ——— Froggy: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume? Red: *chugs entire bottle* Red: It’s perfume. ——— Froggy: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment! Red: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly! ——— Red: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds. Froggy: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!? Red: No! Four to five seconds! Froggy: Too late!!! ——— Red: You idiots don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon. Froggy, not looking up from his book: Spear. Red: BLOCKED.
