Now, this might and probably will be the most personal vent I'll make. I don't know. I feel like I'm not enough for anyone. I try my hardest and it doesn't feel like I'm doing enough to get the attention of anyone. Not that I'm that special. Now, I know there will be that person in the comments saying not to talk down to myself. It's really my mind doing it. I'm letting it take over right now so if it sounds kind of aggressive at some point- I keep waiting for that day that someone might compliment me on my art or something, (like a random person not you my peeps I know are reading this). I feel that day will never come. Every time I get a compliment in real life a whisper in my head seems to say "They are lying just to make your sorry self feel better. You aren't worth that praise and never will be. You aren't special." and I feel kind of lost and hopeless in my life right now. Ever since I started using Scratch again, I'd been waiting for that day someone might finally notice me. Fat chance. Though I am getting older and more mature (I guess?) I feel like the stupid annoying little kid nobody wants to talk to. I get skipped over all the time, and I have gotten used to it by now. There isn't anything important enough about me anyways. I don't have good art, I'm not famous or anything, what's the point of paying any attention to the nobody? I feel like when people talk to me, they get sick of me. They just drag me along because they feel like they have to. I guess I'd rather be alone here like I was than be lied to. I feel like there is something wrong with me. I'm extremely introverted but I also talk too much. By now I just..don't feel like saying anything. I don't think I'm turning on comments for a while except MAPs. Maybe here and my profile, but I won't respond. I don't know what I'm really trying to say except..I just feel like a stupid little kid that annoys everyone and isn't special enough to be seen. Even places like school I just feel embarrassing and invisible like..nobody cares
I don't know..go check out someone more worthwhile, I guess.
