Happy pride month! I've been wanting to make something for the LGBTQ+ community, so here it is! I'm aroace! (Aromantic and Asexual) It's something I'm proud of, but I haven't really been able to share with some of the people I know. I'm most certainly proud to talk about this online though! I wish all of you a splendid month of pure LGBTQ+ pride! I (unfortunately) have a bit of a vent below this, I didn't feel comfortable sharing this with anyone I know personally yet so I decided to put it here. It's more of a 'coming out of the closet' type of vent but I do have some pride-month related things to get off my chest. Alright, to start, I'm aroace. It's something I haven't really mentioned to anyone I know in real life. I don't want this to be kept from my family and friends, but when I brought it up to someone I know, they just lightly suggested I hadn't found the right person yet. It bothered me then, and it still bothers me now. It didn't help that my dad (who - as far as I'm aware - would accept me regardless of my sexuality or gender) has offhandedly mentioned the thought of grandkids to my sister and I, I forgot how we (my dad, sister, and I were in the car) got to the topic - I was just listening to music. I feel if I told him I'm aroace, I'd be letting him down. I have the need to satisfy everyone other than myself half the time, I've already made some people upset in my life and I certainly don't want that to be my parents anytime soon. I know enough about myself to understand my boundaries, I'm a physical person, I like to hug and snuggle with people I care about, but within recent years its been pretty hard to hug some guy friend I have and *not* be shipped by someone (whether it's my parents, friends, etc.). I suppose I'm lucky to end up in a high school that supports the LGBTQ+ community, and it's great to know I'd be supported by my teachers and peers. But being aroace is surprisingly unique in my school, almost everyone has to have some sort of sexuality and most of it is being Bisexual or Pansexual with the occasional Lesbian and Gay student. There are plenty of transgender and genderfluid friends I have, and it's certainly a mental workout to memorize their monthly names (in all seriousness however, it's starting to degrade my mental health, unfortunately). I care deeply for my friends, and a few of them are Asexual, but none are aromantic. It hurts when my dad huffs out that at least half of the school is going through a phase of changing their sexuality due to it being a 'trend'. It hurts to know it would be hard to explain to my parents that the reason I get agitated when they ask if I'm dating anyone is because I'm aroace, I've never had a crush (or a celebrity crush) throughout my life, and the only time I thought I had one was to go along with the whole 'I have a crush in fifth grade' trend. This is still a part of me I'm having a hard time accepting, I feel more whole than I normally do, but it only made my anxiety worse. I feel like I'm letting down the world, that I'm not holding up the basic human expectation of finding a lifelong partner. I'm just happy with close friends, but I'm scared of giving off the wrong impression with snuggling or just being physical in general. The other asexuals of my friend group express similar worries, but most of them are currently dating an understanding person and have come out to their parents. I don't want to date anyone, its never been on my mind to find somebody, I just want to be around the people who don't drain my social battery. The whole 'you can't know until you try' doesn't help in my situation. For example, if you look at a glass vial filled with a sticky green liquid that reeks of the garbage can at the end of the week, you assume it's bad for you even if you don't know what it is. You don't need to try the liquid in the vial to conclude that it's poisonous and will probably make you sick. Do you see where I'm coming from at least? I don't speak for all aroace people, but I hope I'm not the only one out there with these fears. Sorry for making this a bit of a vent, I'll most likely get in touch with a friend of mine to talk about all this, or finally muster up courage to talk with my dad without making it seem like I'm being ridiculous and absurd. Regardless, Happy Pride Month Everyone! -Calico EDIT (February 4th, 2024): A couple months ago, in the spring of 2023, I spoke to my dad about my asexuality. He was curious and completely understanding, he also asked if I told my mother (I did not and still have not). My little sister also got her first boyfriend a few months back and I'm happy for her, he's super sweet and an absolute gem compared to some of his friends. My parents like him, so that's good. So much has changed in the past year and a half. I'm happy of where I am. See y'all around. Song: No One's Around to Help Written By: JerryTerry Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yD2FSwTy2lw&t=2s
