Ughh.. I'm tired of being here in this world I call 'home', My /mother/ hates me and doesn't treat me like her own son but she isn't my real one so why should she give a crap? My dad thinks everything will go great when planning things but it /always/ ends up in a frickin disaster I can't do this anymore! Istg the people on scratch which are from around the world and idk them personally love me MORE then my own parents! It's like they don't care, ALWAYS I have to wear a friggin smile, ALWAYS I have to clean up my house, ALWAYS I have to put up with dirty children! I'm so sick of it! Everyday I do this..everyday...but it always feel like the day replays itself again and again, I feel like I'm in this endless loop! And it hurts mentally too- When my /mother/ scolds me it feels like being stabbed a million of times, each knife telling me my mistakes, how I cannot live up to my parents expectations, how I can't focus easily. It's too much for me...Aren't I a person too? Am I now an object to be toyed with everyday? It feels like it now...I just can't anymore! Not only that but my /mother/ always acts so different when my dad is not around..I hate her but I l0ve her too, she's my step-mom and she puts up with me...My emotions just come at me in a flurry and I can't tell what I'm feeling anymore. And at school, idk man its hard bc the math gets harder and harder and on top of that I cannot focus at all! Idk what works for me anymore It's not enough, it's NEVER enough, all I feel is shame with every breath I take, but no! My parents don't ask *anything* about how I'm feeling, they don't say, 'I'm proud of you!' or 'I'm listening,' they don't even say 'Is there anything you'd like to talk about?' I would love that a lot if they did..but no..im their maid apparently..I'm just object they can use I have many problems some I won't share, do not mention this at all please!
