First of all, I'm pretty freaking sure I have depression. I just have too much assignments, too much activities, my life is just overwhelming, not even that overwhelming compared to a friend's, but she's used to it unlike me... And to make matters worse, I seem to hate everything, even things I liked. I always was scared that I would get some kind of disease and now I'm scared I have depression. What kind of 'scared' you ask? Well, scared I'll screw up and ruin me and my family's reputation. Scared I'll not live up to people's expectations. Scared of what people think of me. When I get time away from this stress, well, I think. Think about life, and just scare myself more.. And from what I figured out the other day, two people might like me. But why would anyone like me? I'm just... Nerdy, weird, strange, and helpless.. helpless to what others think of me And even if these people like me... One of them clearly gave me the cold treatment today... And you know how the cold treatment from anyone sucks... And my life right now is just a big hot mess- between assignments, family, and you know- d e p r e s s i o n. I just feel awful and depression makes me feel worse. My friends( I haven't told my mum yet) just dismiss what I'm saying but what if it's true? What if I do actually have depression? As you already might now, this was hard to write and even harder to share, and I hope people actually read this. Please. Please understand. I guess I better go do my assignments now. Or watch tv and drown in my thoughts.
