So, I know many people have been doing this but I'm gonna try to stay away from scratch. It was an unhealthy addicition at some point- I've just had so much fun with my friends and roleplaying I've grown attached to it. I never thought I'd do this, before I've even been 4 years on scratch but I've grown too attached and I'm hurt, I took a hituas, the truth was the addiction got the best of me, I had fun and I wanted to keep going on. It gets to the point were its not healthy, and you guys, it wont make a difference if I've gone, and If i come back after a while nothing will have changed. Now the main people who I've kept comming back on scratch for are leaving, I care about them and there part of the reason I'm happy. I also have a life outside of this, and I am torn, I don't know what to do. Leaving this is best for m health but I like my characters and I really don't know what to do, its not easy, I've been in ELP so long and I've loved TRAP- and my characters in it too. But I also felt the same for the cat alliance, although it fell apart on its own and so I didn't have a choice. Can you imagine, that I actually wanted to be a higher rank or a noble in the Cat Alliance once? People actually thought I was once. Sure, I was active but did I ever even fit in? I was young and I was a lot more immature, I didn't know a lot of things. All I want to know now is how to prepare myself for my future life, honestly I'm probably gonna be living alone and stuff. Plus, I don't even know who I am. I want to be chill like Wendy and hide how stressed I am but sometimes I can't hide it and it leaks out. I don't know anything about me really, and I've been the first person I ever met, the person I know the most. I wouldn't consider myself a nerd or even smart, even though other people do. I've been asking myself this for forever. I never knew, I though finding my lgbtq+ identity would help but that just leads to more questions. I also hate my name in real life but I have no options, like I'm not sure what to do. I wish it was simple, like even a nickname for people who know me irl. My emotions are so wierd- I'm like a different person each day, and theres no one who relates to me, I feel like I'm a mix of everything. Plus, I'm also ugly so that doesn't help cheer me up. I try to hide everything- At this point, scratch gives me no joy, I've found out I have some friends at school, and I life too. I can't imagine giving up what I've been working for since, well forever. I had so many hopes, it just never works out. I had hopes for my characters- I honestly don't know what to do- One part tells me to stay becuase I can't give up yet, but the other knows its best for me if I leave. My hearts already torn apart but I'm not sure if it'll just get worse and worse if I stay. At this point, I don't even know what I want, and no one knows either. It's so complicated, I wish life could be easier. Everythings waying on me- I'm just gonna try to stay away from it now. TO MY RPS: To trap: keep my o.c.s so far To ELP: keep my o.c.s so far I will announce my dessision after a while- just keep them for right now ^^ Every rp else: delete my o.c.s To my map parts: I'm not gonna be finishing them, sorry About comic stuff: don't expect anything- the decision has not been decided, if i stay I will continue the comic books if not then n0pe Guys, please don't beg my to stay, I need to have it be my decision. Also yes, I have been thinking about this for a while.
