It's all in the notes
I don't know what to talk about so if any of this doesn't make sense well eek Here I go: I don't want to draw anymore, not in the way I have been. I know you guys haven't seen me for the longest time, and since then I've become incredibly disinterested in my own art. I've still drawn, but it's not of the quality or essence I'm hoping for. I've become interested in other things as a consequence, not as a bad thing, but more of a distraction. I've been more into music, researching, actually watching anime, reading, and crazy as it seems, fanfiction. I'm not sure if you know this, but I'm an attention whore. I feed off of it, and scratch fed some of that gaping whole inside me. I relished being complimented and as much as I like it, I have begun to notice that I am not deserving of such compliments. I became obsessed with scratch, and obsessed with comments and likes. I'd spend HOURS of my time refreshing the scratch page for a hope of some small glimmer of attention. I'm sorry about that, I'm not all that I may seem. I'm sorry for my real life friends that I neglected. I'm sorry for wasting your time. I'm sorry for making you wait for me. Not only am I an attention seeker, but I'm manipulative in a way. Almost everything I say and do is a variation of what someone else has done or said. I see people getting attention, and see how they obtained attention, and try to replicate it. At first it didn't use to be like this, but once I got a slice of glory, I wanted more. There is a problem within myself and I want to fix it. I want to mend everything I've done for attention and get it naturally. I should be able to speak freely and draw whatever I am willing to do and learn without the pressure of wanting some glory or special attention. Please don't sugar coat anything, I sure didn't. I'm being as honest as I can, I'm not as awesome as you may think. I'm manipulative and double sided. I am always in between perfectly fine and on the verge of throwing away myself. I also have another account where I'm perfectly fine, so I don't drown in my self-hatred. I'm sorry I can't tell you what it is, I don't want to drag myself further into this than I already am.
