The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them. Chuck Norris doesn’t turn the light on, he turns the dark off. Chuck Norris once beat the sun in a staring contest. Chuck Norris can start a fire with an ice cube. Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience. Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball. Chuck Norris once peed on a truck as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice before. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle. When God said “Let there be light”, Chuck Norris flipped the switch. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris makes onions cry. Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet. A unicorn once kicked Chuck Norris. That’s why they don’t exist anymore. When Chuck Norris does his push-ups, he doesn’t push himself up. He pushes the earth down. Chuck Norris used to beat up his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands 15 feet behind him. Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes. Covid-19 gets its Chuck Norris vaccine yearly. Chuck Norris doesn’t need to shave. His beard is scared to grow. If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Chuck Norris. If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list. Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling. Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in three moves.
<— to the left is Chuck Norris sitting on his couch watching a movie.
