This is a vent btw I'm so sick and tired of having knots in my stomach when I go home, I've been pretending I'm fine, I'm okay, nothing's wrong at all! But no! I'm not fine, I'm not okay, I'm always putting on a fake face, I can take off this 'mask' I wear, but now It's harder to take it off, now I'm scared to express my feelings because I'm scared to believe that I'm not okay I was once in Florida, I lived there with my brother, now I had to move and I couldn't see him anymore, then I got a phone and got his number, we talked for a few days then..that was it...I was worried sick, then we talked again, longer this time, now he started to freak out about his friends then hang up, now he doesn't talk to me. I feel like he doesn't love me anymore, like he doesn't care, I've lost him now...he's gone...and I couldn't be there to talk to him...I think it's my fault, I always called him, I probably annoyed him, I shouldn't have done that...now our mother thinks it's her fault we aren't together...we're like shattered glass, and our pieces are lost...mine is the one that's farthest... I had my birthday and my father said we were gonna do something...that never happened..I feel like it won't..to this day I'm still waiting for that 'thing' I feel like I'm behind bars...my mind is a prison...I am a prison...I feel like life is a game...and now this 'game' likes to t0rtur3 me...I can't have a good life...I'm always sad...I may seem happy but behind this account, is a broken person...I always think that there's something wrong with me, I can't speak, can't say what I want, I'm scared...I'm always scared, I have no strength at all, I wish I wasn't me I need help now, but I'm too scared to ask, I get that feeling where my parents will be mad, I don't feel safe, I feel like I'm hated..but now that I've joined scratch...I feel safe, but there is no escaping...I can't spread my wings and fly, atleast not yet, will I though? Will I?? I feel like a failure. I wish I had no emotions at all...maybe then I won't feel pain, maybe speaking won't sting, maybe then I'll be able to swallow my problems without pain..I have to swallow my problems painfully...Thank you for reading this
