Mx. Kear: Alright, for this project, you'll need to find a collection of something. Me: (writes "nervously looks over at my water bottle covered in Scott the Woz stickers" in the Google Meets chat cuz we were virtual for a week) Aaliyah: What's in that drink, Rex? Me: "Uhhhh" Me: "Water Z EX+" Me: "AKA water." Jordan: (types "Shay's Rebellion" in the Google Meets chat) Me: (types "Shay's Rebellino") Jordan: "rebellino" Jordan: "are you italian" Me: "SHUTBUP JORDAN" Jordan: "LMAO" Joey: Do I look like a criminal? Jacob: I think maybe if you had a unibrow, you would. *talking about the Wizard of Oz and its parallels to bimetalism and populism and stuff while a couple kids were talking about The Wiz* Ms. Everest: What do you guys think the Wicked Witch of the West is supposed to represent? Classmate: Michael Jackson? Iden: WHAT-- Ms. Everest: What do you guys think the Wicked Witch of the East is supposed to be? Me: *snickers* The Wicked Witch of the EAST, bro!! Ms. Everest: Yes, Rex. We love Doug. Me: Doug? Ms. Everest: Yeah, isn't that the name of the guy in the video? Me: Yeah!! Thank youuu!!! Faith: I can't drink this! I have an allergy! Mr. Taylor: What are you allergic to? Faith: Milk. Mr. Taylor: ...There's no milk in orange juice. (apparently this girl had orange juice) Faith: Well, I don't like orange juice! Jordan: Yeah, we've had the Civil War. But I wanna see the Uncivil War! I want a war where we just insult each other!! Me: *coughs* Jordan: Bless you. Someone: *drops something and it breaks* Classmate: Oh no! Me & that classmate: Our table! Me, the classmate, and Aiden M: It's broken! Classmate: Ms. Everest, do you want a dime? Ms. Everest: I mean, I guess? Classmate: It was on my desk, it's not mine... *gives her the dime* Ms. Everest: Just what I always wanted. Me: It's an avocado!! Me, Iden, and Ms. Everest: Thaaaanksss Hannah: Shh, you're scaring the baby! Classmate: What baby? Other classmate: I'm gonna kick her. (random lady shows up in the show we were watching) Olson: She looks like Joe Exotic! Me: NOOOOO Olson: Am I wrong?? Me: NO BUT THAT'S WHY I HATE THAT JOKE Nelson: She's got the mullet and everything!! Guy in the show we were watching: I'm going back to Michigan, that's where I belong! Me: Country roooooads, take me hooooooome Me & Olson: To the plaaaaace Me, Olson, & James: I BELOOOOOONG Me: MICHIGAAAAAAAN Mr. Taylor: Does anyone know what the definition of arrest is? Joey: *straight up reads the definition off of the notes* Mr. Taylor: Alright, everyone give Joey a round of applause, he can read. The class: *clapping* Marina: ...Who's Michael Jackson? Ray: Hee-hee! Me: Hee-hee! Marina: OOOOOH, that's Michael Jackson! Iden: In middle school, ALL of my teachers called Chromebooks "chromies" Me: Oh, I hate that. Jordan: "Chromies" sounds like a mean word directed at robots. Me: IT DOES Iden: It's just Detroit: Become Human Me: DETROIT: BECOME HUMAN, YEAH- *Picture of John Wilkes Booth on the board* Me: He kinda looks like Shane Madej. Iden: He looks like Edgar Allen Poe! Me: Yeah, who ALSO looks like Shane Madej! They're all the same dude! "Y'know what I'm playing?" "What?" "Clash Royale." "Oh, cool. I'm playin' a 7-page essay." Jordan: It's very hard to bring up labor laws in mathematics. Ms. Everest: I'm sure you find your ways... Jordan: Yeah, why do you think y = mx + eat the rich? Me: Olson, what's 9+8? Olson: 18 Me: Okay, what's 10+8? Olson 18!! Me: What does Y-E-S spell? Anderson: OH NO Olson: "Yes" Me: What does E-Y-E-S spell? Olson: "E-Yes"!! Reid: Olson, I've got a question for you. How many letters are in the alphabet? Olson: Wh- I-- How am I supposed to know that??? Anderson: *leans over to me* It's 24, right? Me: Nah, it's 26. Olson: Uh... 27? Me: Mr. Taylor, how many letters are in the alphabet? Mr. Taylor: 26. Me: BAHAHA!! OLSON!!! Mr. Taylor: Olson, which ones did you forget? Me: He didn't forget any! He said 27!! Jordan: My brother in Christ, (I) just clean(ed) the waffle maker. Ray: Mx. Kear, I'm a microwave!! Faith: Mr. Tater-Tot, can I ask you a question? Mr. Taylor: .......I will kill you. *watching "Cars"* Classmate: This is stupid!! Mr. Taylor: What's wrong with you, man? Classmate: I do that in the movie theaters, too. When something in a movie ticks me off, I'll just yell "this is stupid!" Mr. Taylor: What's stupid about this? Two cars can't go on a date? Classmate: No!!! Mr. Taylor: That's pretty bigoted of you, man... *scene in Cars where Sally's telling Lightning McQueen what happened to Radiator Springs* Mr. Taylor: This is sad... Classmate: I know!! I don't remember this part of the movie!! Ms. Everest: Antoniah, stop knocking on the window like a hooligan! Antoniah: ...It was the lollipop, not me!! (continued in n&c)
Jacob: Hey Siri, does Dwayne Johnson have a prosthetic forehead? Siri: Okay, here's what I found on the web for-- Jacob: MR. TAYLOR DOES DWAYNE JOHNSON HAVE A PROSTHETIC FOREHEAD Mr. Taylor: ...No, he doesn't have a prosthetic forehead. *watching Zootopia* "My husband has been missing for 10 days!" Me: He went to go get milk. Olson, Reid, and Anderson: *laughing* Ms. Everest: Where's the chair that goes to that desk? Dianna: I ate it. Ms. Everest: ...Dianna, that doesn't sound very tasty. Dianna: I told somebody I liked their baby. Ms. Everest: WHAT??? Dianna: No, listen!! I saw this couple with a cute baby, and I'm not good at talking to people, so instead of saying something like "Your baby's cute," I said "I like your baby." Hannah: I'm gonna get you what I got my mom for Mother's Day! I'm gonna get you Tinkerbell earrings! Mr. Taylor: Perfect. Jacob: Why a there always more chairs in here?! Mr. Taylor: I dunno. I think they multiply in the middle of the night. Classmate: Well then, who am I SUPPOSED to call?? Like. 6 people: GHOSTBUSTERS!! Mr. Taylor: *banging on the desk* CUPCAKES! CUPCAKES! CUPCAKES! All the boys in the class: *banging on their desks* CUPCAKES! CUPCAKES! CUPCAKES! Mr. Taylor: jeez its like a frat house in here Classmate: *banging on desk* BEER BOMB!! Mr. Taylor: Did you just say "your mom?" Classmate: No, I said "beer bomb". oops i forgot to post this until like a month and a half after the school year ended
