I've wanted to make projects like this 20-million times before, but I never do, because I don't like sharing my emotions.. TW~ marking my arms I was at school today, and my friends was feeling down. It was her first time being back in 2 weeks, and she was telling us how she had her first panic attack. I hadn't been feeling good already because (this girl I like) was laughing with her friends during math, and like, I felt like she could never like me back because she never really had that much fun with me. But that's normal EVERYBODY feels that way So I pushed it down but taht was kinda offtopic but, I felt so bad, and the feelings of sorrow started to resurface, and I wanted to get them out. When I want to get my feelings out, I just tend to cry in the bathroom, but I couldn't really cry, so I went back out thinking everything was fine. So I tried listening to some sade music, really anything to just let the 'pain' out. And I listened to the song in the project, and I felt SO BAD Its like, I want people to notice I'm upset but that's selfish and it makes people feel bad so I don't I always chicken out Like, even the day after I had come back from the counselors, and missed the bus, I had my friends ask me why I had missed the bus. I was like, "Oh, I went to the counselors." and then I immediately regretted it. They asked why, but I got way to embarrassed to tell them that I was ('mrking my arms'), which even acted up today as I was in the bathroom. It like, the only thing I feel like I do with myself. I tried to (mrk) my arms with the pointy things on the tp dispenser how sad is that I feel so selfish all the time and sometimes it feels like I'm just ding it for attention, which I don't like admitting to myself, but I have nothing to be upset about, so why else why I have the feelings?? And just thinking about it makes me feels 3x worse. As I was walking out off the classroom, I rushed ahead to my friends (including my crush) couldn't talk to me, because I didn't want to speak to them or get pushed about why I was so quiet I'm normally a very loud person and I heard one of my friends talk to (my crush) an say, "No, she's fine, just leave her alone", which I don't know if they were talking about me or not but I kinda want to apologize nonetheless but I also don't at the same time that's pretty selfish, isn't I just want someone to say its not but I know for a fact its not true everyone around me I just feel like their judging me and dissapointed in me I'm sorry, I'll take this down later
