So, some of these had cursing so, here's your warning. Sorry, Scratch team! (Luckily I censored the words) Someone's probably gonna report this h. Floofy: You lying, cheating, piece of *bleep*! Elly: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD Floofy: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING UNO WITH ME Ivy, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now. (Floofy, Elly, and Uno are sitting on a bench) Ivy: Why do you guys look so sad? Floofy: Sit down with us so we can tell you. *Ivy sits down* Elly: The bench is freshly painted. Floofy: Yo is Ivy sleeping or dead? Elly: Hopefully dead, I hated their guts. Uno: Yeah, so did I. Ivy: Okay first of all, *bleep* you- Floofy: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three- Floofy and Elly, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks! Uno: Our turn, Ivy! One, two, three- vanilla! Ivy, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake. Floofy: Why are your tongues purple? Uno: We had slushies. I had a blue one. Ivy: I had a red one. Floofy: oh Floofy: Floofy: OH Elly: Elly: You drank each other's slushies? Floofy: Is stabbing someone immoral? Elly: Not if they consent to it. Uno: Depends who you’re stabbing. Ivy: YES?!? Floofy: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB? Elly: Bold of you to assume I was born at all. Uno: I personally was created in a lab. Ivy: I just straight up spawned lol. Floofy: I just ended a four year relationship. Elly: Oh, I’m so sorry. Are you okay? Floofy: Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine. It wasn’t my relationship. *Uno and Ivy fighting from across the room* Floofy: *Screams* Elly: *Screams louder to assert dominance* Uno: Should we do something?! Ivy, observing: No, I want to see who wins this. Floofy: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions? Elly: Put spaghetti in it. Floofy: I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you. Uno: Put spaghetti in it. Floofy: I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two. Ivy: Put spaghetti in it. Floofy: I'm no longer taking suggestions. Floofy: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling? Elly: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Uno? Uno: Probably “road work ahead”. Ivy: I speak many languages, and this is none of them. Floofy: Hah! 69! You know what that means? Elly: What? Uno: That you're a child. Ivy: HOW'D YOU GUESS MY IQ!? *Floofy is cooking* Elly: Any chance that’s for me? Floofy: It’s for Ivy. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need them on my side. Uno: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment. Uno: Why are Floofy and Elly sitting with their backs to each other? Ivy: They had a fight. Uno: Then why are they holding hands? Ivy: They get sad when they fight. Floofy: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys. Elly: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap! Uno: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!! Ivy: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting. Floofy: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands. Floofy: Elly, I'm sad. Elly: *Holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay. Uno: Ivy, I'm sad. Ivy, nodding: mood. Floofy: Tonight, one of you will betray us. Elly: Is it me, Floofy? Floofy: No, it’s not you. Uno: Is it me, Floofy? Floofy: It’s not you either. Ivy: Is it me, Floofy? Floofy: Floofy, mockingly: Is IT mE Floofy? Floofy: *Gently taps table* Elly: *Taps back* Uno: What are they doing? Ivy: Morse code. Floofy: *Aggressively taps table* Elly: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK- Floofy, banging on the door: Elly! Open up! Elly: Well, it all started when I was a kid... Uno: No, they meant- Ivy: Let them finish. Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle. Floofy: *bleep*. Elly: Wait, three? Cop: Yeah? Uno: OH MY GOD IVY FELL OFF!!! Floofy: Wake me up… Elly: Before you go go! Uno: When September ends… Ivy: WAKE ME UP INSIDE- Floofy: You know those things will kill you, right? Elly, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point. Uno, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process. Ivy: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough* Floofy: Care for another sundae, weenie? Elly: I am not a weenie! Uno: Relax, you’re among friends. *raises their drink* Elly: My friends don’t hang out at Weenie Hut Jr’s. Ivy: You tell ‘em, Elly! *sips their drink* Elly: Ivy, what’re you doing here? Ivy: I’m always here on Double Weenie Wednesdays.
(This is a continuation since the instructions ran out of room for words.) Floofy: Everyone, synchronize your watches. Elly: I don’t know how to do that. Uno: I don’t wear a watch. Ivy: Time is a construct. [The group is a prison cell that was just hit by an earthquake] Floofy: Uh, I'm gonna roll a perception check of... 4, and see if our cell is, uh, in any way damaged by this quake Elly: You're in a prison cell :) Uno: You did great. Well, I got a 10- Elly: You're in a prison cell with bars on it :3 Ivy: I got a 1! Elly: You're in... a cube-shaped place. Floofy: Have you seen a person named 'Elly' around here? Uno: Ugh, yes. They made a horrible mess of the blood fountain. Ivy: It looks fine to me? Uno: IT USED TO BE WATER!!!
