press the green flag, i have a mashup of songs. If u r here 4 the vent, read on! (Although, y would u?) Hey, guys, this is my first vent, so bear with me......... I live with my aunt because my dad makes me feel like trash and my mom would rather spend her days in the barn that we lived at with her horse, drinking, or at work than with us. (My sister and me). So there's the backstory...... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So, at a visit with my dad, i said we needed 2 go 2 FYE because my headphones were broken. He asked why i didn't use Bluetooth, I said because i didn't want 2. Then he asked AGAIN. I told him the same thing, over, and over, and over again. He finally told me that he was going 2 ask me the same question until I gave him a real answer. This got me mad and we started having a shouting mach........ in a mall........... my sister was trying on pants............ in a changing room. She came out 2 see me so distressed that i was crying. She told us 2 calm down and went 2 change back in2 her original pants. My dad then said that if I was going 2 act like he was harassing me then he was going 2 call off the next visit. Me, not trusting myself 2 talk but still wanting 2 be snarky gave him a huge, angry, smile and 2 thumbs up. Later after walking in silence he turns 2 me and says he doesn't understand why i'm acting like this and blah blah blah, he didn't do anything wrong, blah, my fault, blah............. Something in me then snapped. "U KNOW WHAT!?" I yelled, he looked taken aback because i usually agree with him "I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE! EVERY TIME I COME HERE YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE TRASH! I'M SICK OF IT! IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHO I AM THEN WHY NOT LEAVE ME BEHIND! YOU OPENLY FAVOR MY SISTER, SO WHY BRING ME ALONG THIS JOURNEY THROUGH H****!?!?" I still go 2 see him, but he acts differently, like out of annoyance and pity in one. He also knows that I am taking anti-depressants and anxiety meds......... But I need stronger doses... ;w; Depressed and alone. i don't want 2 be like my dad, or my mom. But if i am? Depressed and alone. How can i keep acting like everything is okay!? All dad acts like is he only sees the depressed girl?! That's all that my old friends saw! But now he looks at me like i'm crazy. I tell myself that if i smile, everything will be fine, I think my aunt knows that my smiles are turning fake.............. Sorry I unloaded this on everyone........;m; That wasn't fair of me............ It's just so hard pretending everything is okay when it's not.
Why is everything my fault?
