Psychology teacher: Jeez, Robert, how many kids' breakfast did you steal today?? Robert: Ehhhh... Three, maybe four. London: [teacher], are you good at math? Psychology teacher: Math?? HECK no. I mean, I can add, subtract, divide, and multiply, but... Marine biology teacher: Hang on... *steps away from computer and opens the back door* AAAAA *walks back to computer* I'm fine! Everything's good! Lavender: Uh... that's a green checkmark. Cuz it's good! English teacher: When I was a kid, my grandparents' neighborhood had really small yards, and their neighbors would go out and cut the grass with scissors. Me: "Good morning, Jerry! What are you doing?" "Just cuttin' the grass!" English teacher: I feel like the only time I've ever heard someone say "veritable" was in a movie, when they're insulting someone, like, "You're a veritable pain!" Half the class: ;-; English teacher: Guys, I was talking about the hypothetical movie, not you. I would NEVER say that to your face. Me: Keywords, "to your face" English teacher: Wait, did I spell it wrong? Lavender: Yeah, most likely. Jasmine: The rival team splits our family in half, cuz like... we're all from Texas-- Marine Science teacher: Well, I'm sorry to hear that. Yvette: Geico can save you 15% or more on car insurance Me: whAT?? Yvette: *laughs* Me: *giggles* Where did THAT come from? Marine Biology teacher: Where's Kevin? Josh: Who's Kevin? Teacher: He used to sit behind Devin. Josh: Who's DEVIN?? Yvette: I have a friend who's a mermaid! Jasmine: What Yvette: Yeah! Jasmine: Is she certified by the government? Cuz if she's not certified, then she's not a mermaid. Yvette: She graduated :) English teacher: Okay, what other kennings do you wanna go over? Classmate: Umm,.,, what's a b--b tube?? English teacher: OH MY GOD, OKAY THAT'S A TV-- English teacher: (explaining a project where we have to create a monster) Please don't recreate your parents... Marine science teacher: Don't answer like Josh did, cuz he said "they have big eyes" Josh: It scares the waves away! Josh: Why are so many people getting sick?? Laticia: Cuz we're in the middle of a panorama! (For context, one of my classmates drew a stick figure labeled "Grandma" on the whiteboard, and someone came along and erased lines through the arms, legs, and body) Yvette: NOOOOO!!! Grandma died!! ;-; Me: I already bought tickets to the funeral! Josh: When's the funeral gonna be held? Yvette: Tomorrow. In the morning. Me: Miss Keisha... Miss Keisha. Miss Keisha! oh mah god she dead,. Jasmine: Grandma died :pensive: Me: "That's why your mama dead! What shoes she got on in her casket??" Sophia: Why are you laughing?? English teacher: She said "kudos to him"!! Sophia: WH-- HE'S LETTING CHILDREN STARVE Lavender: That's just... capitalism. Caycee: Why do you have a pentagram on your hand-- Lavender: :) Satan Caycee: NO- Lavender: :) Satan Caycee: Are you just gonna answer everything I say with "Satan"??? Satan isn't the answer to all of your problems!! How old are you? Lavender: :) Satan Caycee: SATAN IS NOT THE ANSWER TO EVERYTHING Me: I think all animals are dangerous, in some capacity. Laticia: Yeah, like, your pets could kill you, but they just... don't. Marine science teacher: Oh, not MY dog. Presley: How big is your dog? Teacher: 10 pounds Laticia: That's not a dog, that's a football! You could punt it! Presley: I have a friend whose dog is like, 2 pounds. Me: That's not a dog, that's a RAT. Raychel: Oh no! Classmate 2: *snickers* ...our table Me: it's brOKEN-- All 3 of us: *giggling* Me: Man I've been thinkin about that video all day
