Steamed Hams but it's Mysterion and The Coon- (Mysterion rings thew doorbell. The Coon opens the door.) Mysterion: Well, Cartman I made it despite your directions. The Coon: Ah, Mysterion welcome! I hope your prepared for an unforgettable luncheon! Mysterion(cold-heartedly): Meh. (Mysterion sits down and The Coon enters the kitchen to find smoke coming out of his oven.) The Coon: (gasps) (The Coon opens the oven to find his roast on fire.) The Coon: Oh, egads! The Coon: My roast is ruined! (The Coon walks to the portal to Monster Island and he sees McDonald's nearby.) The Coon(thinking): But, what if I to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? The Coon(evilly): Ha Ha Ha Ha! Delightfully devilish, Cartman! (The Coon was about to enter the portal but Mysterion walks in the kitchen>) Mysterion(shocked and confused): Ah! The Coon: Oh! Mysterion! I was just stretching my calves on the portal to Monster Island. Isometric exercise! Care to join me? Mysterion: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Cartman? The Coon(noticing the smoke): Uh, OH! That isn't smoke that's steam! Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmmm! Steamed Clams! (Mysterion leaves the kitchen.) The Coon(relieved): Phew! (The Coon goes through the portal and runs to McDonald's.) The Coon(entering the kitchen with a feast of burgers and french fries): Kenny, I hope you're ready for some mouth-watering hamburgers! Mysterion(confused): I thought we're having "Steamed Clams". The Coon: No! No, I said "Steamed Hams". That's what I call hamburgers. Mysterion(confused): You call hamburgers "Steamed Hams"? The Coon: Yes, uh, it's a regional dialect. Mysterion: Okay, what region? The Coon: Uhhh, Upstate Colorado. Mysterion: Really? Well, I'm from South Park like you and I never heard anyone say the phrase "Steamed Hams". The Coon: No, No. not in South Park it's a Denver expression. Mysterion: I see. (The boys eat their steamed hams.) Mysterion(opening up his steamed ham): Now, y'know these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at McDonald's. The Coon: Hahahaha! No! Patented Coon Burgers! Old family recipe. Mysterion: For steamed hams? The Coon: Yes! Mysterion: Yes, and you call them "Steamed Hams" despite the fact they're obviously grilled. The Coon: Oh! Uh..Y'know...One thing I...Excuse me for one second. Mysterion: Of course. (The Coon enters and exits the kitchen.) The Coon: RAAAAAH! That was wonderful! A good time has by all I'm pooped! Mysterion(checking his watch): Yes, I should just-(noticing the fire in his kitchen) GOOD LORD! WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE? The Coon: Aurora Borealis. Mysterion(angrily): A-AURORA BOREALIS?! At this time of year! At this time of day! In this part of the island! It is localized entirely within your kitchen? The Coon: Yes! Mysterion: May I see it? The Coon: No. (The boys walk out of the house.) Cthulhu: COON! THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE! The Coon(calling out): Nah, Cthulhu it's just The Northern Lights! Mysterion: Well, Cartman you are an odd fellow but, I must say you steam a good ham. (Mysterion leaves The Coon's home that was burning down.) Cthulhu: HELP! HELP! HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLP! (Mysterion looks back at The Coon. The Coon gives him a thumbs-up.) (Mysterion departs and The Coon rushes back in the burning house to save Cthulhu.) .
From The Simpsons Meme The Coon/Eric Cartman as Principal Seymour Skinner Mysterion/Kenny McCormick as Superintendent Gary Chalmers Cthulhu as Agnes Skinner
