“ I opened the bag of purple onion and gave it to him. “I won’t eat it unless you do.” He said “They’re sweet, but then immediately spicy.” I replied grinning. We took a bite at the same time as the sweet filled our tastebuds followed by an immediate horrible after taste of spicy and bitterness. “Aughhhh! Water!” His voice cracked as he took a quick gulp of water. I, on the other hand, held it in. I could feel the yuck running my mouth but after 30 seconds ran to the cabinet and grabbed a glass filling it to the brim and came back dipping my tongue into the cold bitterless liquid. It felt absolutely amazing. After that we went of on the deck to see the dogs. Ollie was in constant whining while we just stood. I looked up into the blue and pink scattered evening sky. “Holy crap look at the sky. That’s so gorgeous.” I pointed out as my friend looked up too. “Yeah, it is.” He smiled. It was a long moment of cicadas and birds before we had said anything. … “When you move, do me a favor and try to at least do well in school by not getting grounded all the time so we can still stay in touch and talk.” I wondered to the different side of the deck. “Okay I’ll try.” “I’ll also try too, since we’re going into high school and I need to up my a-gang. Especially with that art class program I got into.” I added. We both laughed awkwardly and went back inside as the cool air of the house covered us. “ So… I am… depressed. I’ve been slightly hinting at this on my profile but shut off comments. I know I’m not admitting it to my moms, and or eventually my therapist, because then they’ll just pester me and ask annoying questions. I have held every single tear and swallowed my spit every time I try to talk and it starts to come out as a whine to my mom. I just put on a big smile and start laughing when she cries. For crying out loud, my best friend is freaking moving away. Not like to a different city. A different state. I just- We’ve been best friends since 6th grade. who will finish avatar the last air bender with me? Who will make fun of the witchy annoying teachers with me? Who will relate that we’re not even popular but we sit at the table with the popular kids and blindly hang out with them? Who will agree with me that our moms totally suck and ground us all the time because of our stupid grades? Who will watch Clarence at my house every summer with me? And who will be the friend who’s always there with me no matter what other birthdays party you got invited to? “It just isn’t fair” (Star Wars: A New Hope. But seriously…) I have also been realizing how much my other two friends don’t even acknowledge my existence, meanwhile they’re hanging out with their “real” best friends and don’t even invite me over too. I probably won’t have a birthday party…or a Halloween …or a gang. I’ll just be that same old kid again, sitting at a lunch table by myself in my finale school. The loner The bystander… The outcast. okay I vented my feelings. But only on here cuz u can’t pester me irl and ask if I have… thoughts (which I don’t. It’s just an emptyness void of no joy). Plus I feel slightly better,… ONLY SLIGHTLY THO IM STILL PROCESSING THIS CHANGE I’m literally dying inside I ate a whole box of chocolates today and dry cereal out of the box, mindlessly playing Minecraft. and then I was FINALLY able to see my friend. We hung out, watched Clarence, played Minecraft, Smash bros and Mario Kart. Good times. Plus my step mom made fresh pizza and we made/ate s’mores (“we” as an my little brother’s friends as well and my and my friend). Little note here: all these problems I’m having atm have nothing to do with any “social media” just so you know. It’s just a horrible change of events rn that I’m having a hard time going through. I thought this would be easy to go through, but TV has taught me that it takes more than listening to happy vibe music. Now if you’ll excuse me Clone Wars seems to keep me distracted from infinite sadness so I’m gonna watch a bunch of that. also I pushed myself to make some vent art as you can see. The only thing that I didn’t do is the sky itself. That was a photo taken at the lake where I live and then slightly edited for lighting purposes. I also decided to add some fireflies bc well, it’s that time of year. Cicadas are finally out too so I can finally get some good background noise now. Audio used from the scratch audio bc I was too lazy to actually upload sounds. Plus I find it quite peaceful. So this is what my step mom’s house looks like too. Not much to say about it tho. have a wonderful depressless summer, please. I beg you. Edit: im slowly getting better as the days pass by but like I said, its not gonna be a walk-in-the-park. Drawing people’s OCs by surprise seems to also keep me occupied too.
