Guys, please help [Vent]

Instructions

First off, happy pride month! Now, for the venting. As a teen with a slightly overprotective mom, I lead what I thought was a "normal life." I went to school Played sports Lived life. There were only male and female. And I snuck onto Scratch. I learned that it existed, Got into coding, was brave enough to start a profile and get online. Before this year I didn't know anything About the outside world I wasn't allowed on Facebook Youtube Twitter I felt a bit in the dark when my friends started joking about some new trend that I had no idea existed. Technically, my mom doesn't know I have a Scratch account. But know I'm obsessed with it. I could go on about "how i became a better coder/artist" and I have improved. Like, a ton a ton but what really hooked me, was being online with other people. I learned a bit more about the outside world. That there's more to online than cyberbullying, like we were taught in school. That you can make friends online. That other people struggled And that I wasn't alone. I've only had a few days to google as much as I can about LGBTQ+, ever since I heard about pride month. And *deep breath* I think I'm aromantic. But I don't know. I need a better definition. Google says "having no interest in or desire for romantic relationships." Which is exactly me. Or maybe I just don't like any of the kids in my class. And I was satisfied with that. Then I did more research. People wrote things like when they "finally" accepted being aro, they "broke down and cried" and "felt like something that had been promised had been taken away." And now I'm thinking that being aromantic means something more than just not being all dreamy and everything. I want a relationship. I know that I should want one. But I don't actually know if I've ever wanted one. AUGH I'm thinking in circles. I want a relationship But it just seems that I can't want one is that weird? I want one but I can't tell if I do because I actually do or if it's because everyone expects me to. I really don't understand what being aro would mean for my future, and I need to know more about it before I accept myself as one. Can someone please clarify what being aro means, specifically? Does it mean I /can't/ get married? Or just that I don't have a crush? I'm getting conflicting answers. Please comment. oh and btw if im not aro i think i miiiight be pansexual? why is this so confusing