YEET all right! So as you may know (I think I've brought it up before) I've struggled with an anxiety disorder for a long time. I think it was at its worst in 7th grade or so -- the adjustment to a new school really set off my fear back then (though I had had it to an extent throughout elementary school). I remember often feeling swallowed up in the darkness of my thoughts, unable to think of anything else, unable to stop panicking, wondering what to do, why... unable to put into words what I was wondering, but that things were Wrong. It was... rough. But over the years, with the help of therapy, medication, my faith, and my family, I've been able to get out of a lot of that. Don't get me wrong, I still get way more nervous than most people and especially when I get busy with school, my anxiety can act up. Quarantine hasn't exactly done wonders for my mental health either -- that, combined with my metabolism outgrowing my medication dosage, kind of threw me back into existential crises for a while but that's getting better. But if I could go back in time, I'd let my younger self know that it does, in fact, get better. I don't have all the answers but I'm learning to live with that. Sometimes I still get worried, or skeptical, and that's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's no longer so all-consuming or terrifying. anyways, that's what this is about. the biggest pain was probably writing up all those words and I kinda got lazy on part 18 and just reused the file because A) handwriting is a pain and B) writing them up was reminding me of a dark place, mentally, that I didn't really want to be in.
check out the original map! music by twenty-one pilots. I should REALLY be doing my homework but i thought i'd finish this up real quick. Seeya! Soli Deo Gloria I gotta go do my CS homework hhh
