ok im gonna try to be as brief as possible. im not sure if anyone has noticed and i don't expect anyone to! but as of late its been harder and harder for me to drum up the motivation to respond to comments, and it's not just a scratch thing i dont check text messages anymore, pinterest notifs, servers, hangouts, nothing. and if i do, im just doing it to clear the notif im not actually reading ;; it's slowly become more and more of a problem for me to communicate with people and i'm not sure why but i have my suspicions,,, it feels like everytime i talk to someone i mess up and jam up the conversation to the point where there is literally no thinkable responses to the messages i send and its My fault. and its happening with almost /everyone/ and i hate it!! i hate that im bad at conversating!! i can't handle the fact im messing up very well. and if we do have normal conversations that are going well i dont Want to respond ever i dont have the motivation to respond to anything (unless maybe when i started the conversation) !! i dont know whats wrong with me,,,lefkefjhjefejfn so until i can fix my communication skills im. gonna dip not sure how long this'll last but thats just what the circumstances call for im also not in a good mental space!! how fun wowoeowoewo i was ok going into the year but now im low again so thats great :) /s i dont have anyone to talk to because a) im not comfortable pouring my soul to someone in public scratch conversations b) when i do vent it drags people down and makes them upset and i hate doing that i really do so its easier to bottle up and let the bottle shake until i break (like now awoooguh) and its just a system that,, sucks but works c) and, people usually either ignore me OR give me "advice" that just angers me even further. the "help" is /not/ helpful its been a really long time since someone has actually helped me so i've given up seeing the point in venting and i know that im not going to get responses that i Want when i do but!! the responses i do get literally make it worse so shut!!! up!!!!!!! i think i'll only really be active on disc/insta/toyhouse and im not giving those away atm so if you have them, thats cool good 4 u :] doesnt mean i'm explaining myself or venting to you even if you insist but. im there for important stuff,, AGAIN IM NOT EXPLAINING MYSELF OR VENTING PLEASE,, NO ASKING ME TO GAVBHS im beyond that point ALSO i say semi hiatus because im still going to be signing on and posting projects, and working on payments (and other stuff) i'll just not be very likely to respond to people unless i see its important. i don't mean to offend anyone by not responding but. i don't,,, have the energy anymore please understand just because im being active doesnt mean im off my hiatus, my hiatus ends when this project isn't my featured project anymore and that means i wont be as ,,,,, dead inside again. i will be liking/favoriting projects. i (might) be following people. i will be releasing projects. THIS DOES NOT MEAN I AM BACK!! thank you im working on several projects for you guys right now including the support pmv (haha irony) because i refuse to give that up im working on otap's, map parts, and just art. im. working. on. it. im aware of everything i owe so please dont bother me unless you have to and on that note, i bid you farewell :wave: projects in the future might have comments turned off for the time being we'll see art is mine, song is trauma by nf
