Hey guys! Happy New Year! It’s been a heck of year X3 - who would have thought there would be a pandemic of all things... Honestly for me this year has been a lot more then just a pandemic... If you haven’t noticed I’ve become super busy and way less active... weLL- theres a few reasons for that that I finally have decided to share... For one, I’m just not as motivated to make content here anymore as much as I enjoy art, my free time I’m usually tired during so to do anything other then read or watch tv or play video games is a lot of extra energy I don’t feel like finding (a bit lazy... I know-). And for two... this is the year I’ve begun to focus more on my life in the real world not just online. In the past, scratch was what I had to keep myself busy during the day and getting out the excess of energy I have when I’m not busy... well... that’s just not the story anymore for me. This year I’ve finally made some friendships in the real world and have been thinking more and more about where I’m going with all of everything I do. As much as I love art and stuff, I don’t really want to go into a field of graphic design or animation or anything... honestly- I’m planning to go to college for a science degree so I can help the effects of human impact on wildlife around the world. And with so much going on in my life, well, I’ve kinds just- stopped drawing so much. I don’t really need it like I used to. And that’s a good thing. For years I’ve been scared of reality and really anything else you can think of. Being real for a moment... I have this thing called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I’ve never really talked about it here because well... I haven’t wanted to. This is something that I have been wrestling with now for almost 2 years... For a while I didn’t know what was going on... that was two summers ago... I kinda drowned myself into my art and stories here for a while as my mind drowned in its sickness. Everything was way off and life was just- a mess. Eventually my family and I learned it was OCD. At first it was a nightmare to learn to live with me and all the little anxiety things I did that made no sense to them or me... and during that time I was lost in here too. My fears were overwhelming me. But the year passed and it was 2020 and I made it through at least a fraction of the valley I’m still working my way out of. Flash forward to now and my less art and posting here... My art and stories have always been a way for me to vent out my emotions and work through all the things I struggle with mentally through anxiety and depression invading my mind... But this year has been a strange one for me. More willingness to fight the battles I face daily and being ready to grow up have invaded a lot of my life. Maybe I’m still learning... but that’s ok. It’s ok to be afraid sometimes. It’s ok to be sad sometimes. But when there is so much of either or both all the time it becomes crippling and the internet and art and just stuff in general becomes your escape? That’s when it becomes a bad thing. As I continue to feel better I have been relying less heavily on posting content and making things with my characters here or anywhere else honestly. And that is such a good thing for me. Of course, this doesn't mean I’m going anywhere quite yet for good. I just wanted you all to understand why my posting has become less (and to a lesser unmentioned reason- why i rarely reply to comments- randomly my anxiety will pop up in replying to you guys i don't know closely as OCD makes me think some really weird stuff sometimes that brings on the anxiety... so its easier if I just dont respond to everything rather then try to and end up feeling like a mess for hours or days at a time because I commented back... (dont ask- it wont make sense to you- idk how to explain the fears since they arent based in logic-)) Well there yah have it- my little rant of stuff that’s been going on. Seriously though, happy new year and may it be better then last!!! (Also on another note- I dont rant in a ‘pity me’ way- I seriously dont want any ‘oh I’m so sorry about you having to deal with that’ comments spamming my inbox... kinda like how a disabled persons disability at times just becomes a part of who they are and they know it likely isnt going to just go away- my OCD is the same thing for me. It’s just a piece of me I’m going to learn to live with for my entire life. It’s not easy and it hurts a lot at times... but its part of who I am now. Just one of my many many quirks. And also- I’m not the only person that has to deal with it either- a lot of people out there have OCD or other forms of anxiety and depression- I’m just one of the thousands that deals with it- not even in the most severe case for myself- many with the same disorders have it far worse then I do... I am blessed it was caught and diagnosed so early or it could have gotten worse for me... other people didn’t get that opportunity as I did.)
Credit to @OmbraTheFurry2 for most of the code (added the animation in the background myself-)
