there's the script, @nwise
in: The Simpsons, Memes, Transcripts Steamed Hams/Transcript < Steamed Hams VIEW SOURCE COMMENTS (12) SHARE Chalmers: Well, @Jump-12, I made it- despite your directions. Principal Skinner: Ah. Superintendent @nwise. Welcome. - I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon. Chalmers: Yeah. Principal Skinner: Oh, egads! My roast is ruined. But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? Delightfully devilish, @Jump-12. Chalmers: @jump-12! Principal Skinner: Superintendent, I was just- uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise. Care to join me? Chalmers: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, @Jump-12? Principal Skinner: Uh- Oh. That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmm. Steamed clams. Principal Skinner: Whew. Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers. Chalmers: I thought we were having steamed clams. Principal Skinner: D'oh, no. I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers. Chalmers: You call hamburgers steamed hams? Principal Skinner: Yes. It's a regional dialect. Chalmers: Uh-huh. Uh, what region? Principal Skinner: Uh, upstate New York. Chalmers: Really. Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams." Principal Skinner: Oh, not in Utica. No. It's an Albany expression. Chalmers: I see. You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger. Principal Skinner: Oh, no. Patented Skinner burgers. Old family recipe. Chalmers: For steamed hams. Principal Skinner: Yes. Chalmers: Yes. And you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled. Principal Skinner: Ye- You know, the- One thing I should- - Excuse me for one second. Chalmers: Of course. Principal Skinner: Oh well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped. Chalmers: Yes. I should be- Good Lord! What is happening in there? Principal Skinner: Aurora borealis. Chalmers: Uh- Aurora borealis at this time of year at this time of day in this part of the country localized entirely within your kitchen? Principal Skinner: Yes. Chalmers: May I see it? Principal Skinner: No. Skinner's Mother: @Jump-12! The house is on fire! Principal Skinner: No, Mother. It's just the northern lights. Chalmers: Well, @Jump-12, you are an odd fellow but I must say you steam a good ham. Skinner's Mother: Help! Help!
