:l The pic basically explains it all, but lemme just explain a bit more- Recently I’ve been looking at all the relationships of three I have in my life. Which- as I’ve realized -I have a lot of. I have two online friends, two irl friends, my cousin and my brother, my sister and my brother, etc, etc. I’ve taken a step back and realized something gut-wrenching, but true in most cases. All of them are better off without me. Three is a crowd. I noticed this particularly with my brother and my cousin. Yesterday we passed out treats to some people in my neighborhood, and my brother and cousin came along to help. Let’s call them Phill (bro) and Bill (cous) to hide their real names. So me, Phill and Bill all took turns giving the treat to the people. It was really fun, but one time I let them go by themselves because I was getting cold. So I watched as they walked up to the door and knocked, then talked animatedly with the people at the door. When they came back, they were laughing and talking about what happened. And that's when reality hit. I really should've seen this a while ago; Bill has always favored phill over me. when Bill and I are alone? oh yeah, we're best buds. but when Phill walks in, everything changes. suddenly Bill is so much colder to me and acts like I don't even exist. don't get me wrong- I'm happy that Bill likes to hang out with Phill, and I don't resent either of them for having fun. In fact- I'm kinda glad they showed me this. Since then I've looked at my other relationships of three, and noticed that I don't really bring anything to any of the groups. I just talk a lot to my irl friends, and rp with my online ones. My online ones even made a new game a while back, and I was just too stubborn to join in. So now, the new game has gone along far enough that I can't just jump in. I've even tried, and it didn't work. They say its fine, but I just feel like a burden on them. with my irl friends, I feel like I just obsess about how "my crush looked at me eeeeeeeee!!" looking back, even I'm annoyed by this. I've tried to be better, but every time my feelings get in the way. anyway, the whole point of this is, I feel like I'm just a burden on everyone around me. I've imagined each relationship without me, and all of them seem happier. and this isn't even just my imagination- a few times I've been gone for a few days, so my online friends texted amongst themselves. and what I can tell from the group chat, they were both having fun. I've even dropped into some of these conversations because they were still on, but I just interrupted for no reason. ig, where I'm going with this, is that everyone is better off without me. ty if you're here ty if you read all that you're amazing anyway, I have been drawing a ton, so expect an art dump soon uh I'm on break so ill be on more and yeah that's it hehe I want to do the pink elephants meme but I have so many others I need to do lmboo
