Somebody will hear this story, and we will be remembered. Once upon a time, me and my sister Leia were stranded in the vast forests of Endor. Told by our wicked father Vader that we must fend for ourselves, the two of us wandered around the forest, searching for food and shelter. Me and Leia spotted some raw berries on a bush and were forced to consume them; they had a juicy taste to them, but who knows what effects they could have on us. The worst part was that right above the planet, an intergalactic conflict was taking place between the Republic and Separatists in the form of a space battle. World affairs were not our main priority, though: it was survival, and we had yet to find shelter. Is survival even possible in these desolate woods, though? “Gonna have to give up on finding shelter; it’s getting too dark. Roll under these leaves for warmth tonight, Leia,” I told my sister as we abandoned our quest for shelter for the night. Me and Leia gathered loose leaves from the muddy ground and bundled up beneath them, preparing for a harsh sleep. I woke up early in the morning and looked up into the space battle in the sky. “Ain’t gonna let me and my sister die out here,” I thought to myself, determining to fix our situation. The two of us continued and found a piece of metal that had fallen from one of the spaceships above; I picked it up and studied it. “Sharpest metal around: Duralloy,” I commented. “Tool around with it and see if you can make something useful, Luke,” she told me as she scanned the area around us. In the distance, she spotted a shed made out of… candy? The sight of it made her scream with delight and she called me over. “Shed? She must be crazy, there couldn’t be a shed made of candy out here!” I thought to myself as I followed her. Was she hallucinating this early in our isolation? Looking ahead, I spotted the candy shed, with Leia cheering in front of it. Kind of weird, though. Of all places, why was one here? Dumb luck, I suppose. With my arrival at the sight, Leia proposed we eat this candy shed; she took the Duralloy and made forks out of it. Her idea was tempting, but not smart; I decided to not eat anything until I knew for certain it was safe. “Finger around with the shed first and make sure there are no traps,” I advised. And, in response, she ran inside and began eating everything; her hunger had consumed her judgement, and she ate for hours. Her excitement quickly turned to fear, though, when she screamed that she found a thumb in the wall. “Thumb? In the wall?” I questioned as I rushed in to find her. The screaming continued until I made it to her, where I saw a figure cutting his way out of the wall with his thumb. “Shape… yousa shape, little girl… is now perfect to eat!” the figure cackled as it burst through the wall, revealing itself to be Jar Jar Binks. Of all the creatures in the galaxy, Jar Jar was considered one of the wickedest, known for eating children. An ingenious plan, this was: have the child stuff themselves so they are perfect for consumption. “L… letsa… LETSA EAT!!!” Jar Jar cheered as he grabbed Leia and swallowed her whole. On the sight of this, I pulled out my lightsaber to confront Jar Jar. “Her death will be avenged!” I yelled. “FOREHEAD!!!” Jar Jar squealed. Well, that puzzled me. The monster decided to yell forehead, of all things... why? Years of studying couldn’t possibly decipher this puzzle. “START!!!” Jar Jar squealed, getting a huge grin on his face. Coming to my mind was the answer to this riddle. And it was a dumb one, too. They always told me riddles had smart answers, but this one sure didn’t. “Don’t tell me this is actually the answer, Jar Jar…” I sighed. Stop. Coming. Fed. To. The. Rules. And. I. Hit. The. Ground. Running. Didn’t think this was possible, but this entire story is an All Star reference (the first word of every sentence).
