it has music but that's mainly just to have something there and literally has nothing to do with the pic lol
So, considering i have asked people in person (or, more like two in person and my boyfriend asking the opinion of others), I think I'm comfortable with sharing this with you all. I might be genderfluid. The reason I say might is because of my little knowledge on things regarding someone's mental gender to an extent. At one point, I had considered being trans straight up. I would think about what it was like being a boy a lot, like more than I guess it was normal to? At least it seemed like it to me at the time. I asked a friend and they just dismissed it as me just having that normal thought everyone gets when they think about being the opposite gender. Because of that I've disregarded it as that for a long time too. The thoughts came back a little more recently, yet in a stranger manner. When I thought about people referring to me as a he at times, it made me feel happy, and in a weird way excited? I kept on thinking about being referred to as a guy, feeling strangely happy about it. The fluidity part comes in when I felt more that I still wanted to be a girl, but only sometimes. I didn't feel like I wanted to be a girl all of the time, especially at that moment, and kind of right now. The only problem was the one thing that I thought went with being trans or genderfluid; gender dysphoria. I had originally thought that you had to have a form of this to be either, but I didn't have it. I was comfortable in my body, and maybe a feature here and there I might want to not be obvious all the time if anything. The mentality that I had was that I was happy being called a boy sometimes, and I was happy being called a girl sometimes. I got worried that I was just trying to get attention and play a game with it, belittling actual trans and gender fluid people. I eventually decided to talk to my boyfriend for his input while doing a little research. He seemed to think that you didn't have to have gender dysphoria necessarily to be gender fluid, and that my situation sounded like a valid reason to consider myself as such. When I did my research, I found that there was a way you could be comfortable with your body and still be either one; gender euphoria. Gender euphoria was a feeling of happiness and excitement when you were referred to as the opposite gender, all while being comfortable with your own body (if this isn't the exact definition, please let me know. that's what the website said in a nutshell if i remember correctly). I told my boyfriend about it and we both decided to get some input from others. He went to two of his friends about it and I went to one of my friends about it (and still plan to go to others who are well versed on the topic). He said that his friends said that it sounded like my situation fit, and my friend said the same. After all of this positive feedback, you would think I would be more sure. To an extent, I am more sure than I used to be about it. However, I still have a doubt that its my mind playing a trick on me. I don't want to belittle others in the community, but I don't want to neglect a part of me if its there. If any of you have any input, please let me know. I really need some feedback so I can understand this better. Like I said, I'm not exactly the most well informed person on gender related things. Thanks for reading and showing support :)
